Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,222

one more time before I leave. I’ve been hoping to hear some good news back from the counseling administration and from a lady that I sent the first two chapters of my novel to.

As soon as I open my inbox, two email notifications pop up. My heart jumps in my chest at the first email.

From: Jenna Ramey

To: Lilly Wade

Lilly,

I just got done reading the chapters you sent me. And I have to say……I absolutely love them! I love how sensual you made the heroine seem and how dark and dangerous you made the hero. I think you’re definitely are on the right path with the story and you should really explore the hero’s dark side. Trust me when I say that you have great potential as a writer. And I look forward to reading your next chapters. If they’re good as the first two, you might have a bestseller on your hands!

Love,

Jenna

A feeling of warmth flows through my chest as I read Jenna’s words. It feels good to get feedback on my work. I’ve always thought of myself as a crappy writer, and have had horrible confidence in my ability. To actually hear someone say that I have potential fills me with joy and almost brings me to tears. Even if she is just a friend who edits for a publishing company. Still, it means so much to me.

I read Jenna’s words over and over, each time feeling a little bit better, until my eyes fall to the next email and my joy dampens slightly.

From: Zachary White

To: Lilly Wade

Lilly.

I’m sorry.

Zach

I stare at his words, trying not to feel anger after getting such a lifting message about my writing. He’s sorry? That’s all he can say after everything I’ve tried to do for him? I take a moment, sucking in a deep calming breath, trying to look at the entire situation, rather than being consumed by my immediate feelings.

Zach is going somewhere where he’ll be able to turn his life around. What he did before is in the past now. Getting mad over it won’t help either of us. My eyes flicker across the one line on the screen again. I should just be relieved that he’s being given the opportunity at a second chance.

Rising from my seat, I shake off the uneasy feelings and close the laptop, putting it into my travel bag.

I leave the bad on the desk chair, as I go through the house and make sure that I haven’t missed anything.

A whole month away. Of giving myself to someone else. All of me.

Is it really worth doing this?

I heard about the auction. It would’ve paid me more than the amount Joseph offered. I’m fully aware of that. Maybe even three times the amount. Possibly more. I overheard a few of the girls talking about how much the virgins go for. But when I think about how anyone other than Joseph could have put in a higher bid, essentially taking me for their slave, I don’t regret it.

It has to be him. I want it to be Joseph who I give myself to.

Shame burns my cheeks as I think about what I’ve done. I’ve sold myself to another human being. For money. I would have been with him in time, without this though. My heart clenches and the nasty voice in the back of my head whispers, does that make it any better though …

I pick up the strap of the bag after zippering it, and hoist the heavy thing over my shoulder. The strap immediately digs in. I may have packed too much.

I’ll never tell a soul what I’ve done. I’m ashamed, but this is about more than just me. This money is going to be used for a good cause.

I’m sorry.

I think of Zach’s words in his email. I’m sorry too.

I’ll never tell anyone, but as I turn out the lights to my living room, I know I want Joseph. And nothing’s going to stop me now.

Chapter 14

Joseph

I know that I fucked up the moment that Lilly walks through my front door. Her shoulders are hunched as I carry her duffel bags into the foyer, leaving them in the corner of the room.

Her vulnerability is intoxicating. I know it’s taking a lot for her to do this, so I’ll make today easy. The first few days I’ll be gentle with her and ease her into this lifestyle. I only have her for a month though and I intend to take full advantage.

Although it’s freezing outside, she