Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,196

else or something?

I can fucking hardly stand it when I have to use one at school and there is no goddamn way I’m doing that shit unless I have to.

Zach

I sit back in my chair as I read his words. My first reaction is to respond and tell him to just grow up and deal with it. Cleaning a public bathroom, while pretty gross, is a small price to pay in exchange for not winding up in a more serious place. I’m pissed off too. We had so many talks, and I poured my heart and soul into every single one of them, about him getting his act together and putting more effort into his schooling. And where he wanted to be in a few years. He could do great things. We set up a plan together and he promised that he’d do better.

But then I remember all the things he’s gone through and my anger subsides.

Zach was dealt some rough cards coming into this world. He had an abusive father who beat him regularly before he abandons him, leaving him with a mother who was strung out on drugs and let her son live in absolute squalor, resulting in his germaphobia. He’s just a kid in so many ways.

I could see the pain in his eyes every day that he came into my office, the hurt that haunted him. Seeing that tore at my heart. No child should have to go through what he went through.

I let out a soft sigh as I position my fingers over the keyboard. I can’t be angry with him, that’s not going to help him. Without someone in his life that shows that they care about him, he might as well give up. I can’t let that happen. No matter what bad thing he’s done, I have to offer what help I can give. I refuse to give up on him and I refuse to let him give up on himself.

But I can’t enable him either.

Blowing my bangs out of my eyes, my fingers fly across the keys as I type my response.

From: Ms. Wade

To: Zach White

Zach,

I’m so very sorry to hear that you’ve gotten yourself into some trouble, but I did warn you that if you kept on your current path, that something like this might happen. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not disappointed. I’m pissed actually. I put a lot of time and effort into trying to help you and it doesn’t look like it stuck with you. I hope that you’re able to prove me wrong.

I understand why you don’t want to have to clean public bathrooms, given your past with your mother.

And I will try my best to figure out the options that are available to you… but only if you tell me what you did and why. I want to help you, but I’m not going to let you walk over me. I can’t help you if I don’t know what exactly you’ve been caught doing. I’m available to talk and work on the plan we’ve set for you. This is yet another obstacle that I know you’ll overcome. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Ms. Wade

I sigh again as I press send. My heart hurts hating the fact that I can’t give him an easy out. I can’t just pluck him from where he is now and move him somewhere better, where he’s surrounded by encouragement and more opportunities. This very situation is going to close even more doors for him, and I hate that simple fact. He’s just made it harder on himself.

I hate that the kid is in this predicament and I feel really bad for being tough with him, but I can’t let him off easy. He can’t come asking for my help and then try to gloss over the crime he committed. I hope he does the right thing and comes clean. I really like him and want to see him do something with his life, not end up a deadbeat father, or a druggy like his mom, living a life of crime.

Helping troubled students like Zach gives my life meaning, and it means a lot to me. There are times where I wish I could just wave my hand and change all of their lives for the better. Ha, if only such magic existed. The world would be a much better place. But sometimes...I just have to admit…

You can’t help them all. They need to want to change. And