Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,174

broke it.

The vision of my mother’s necklace, as she lay on the cold hard floor of the kitchen, flashes in my eyes as my thumb rubs along the chain.

Why is she so still? My heart beats faster and faster but my body only gets colder as I slowly come out from the hallway and walk toward her. He left, the monster left after I watched him do this to her.

I didn’t know. How could I know that this time he’d kill her?

“Mom?” I call out to her in a whisper, still scared that she’ll beat me for interfering like she always did.

But her eyes are open. They’re red, but not like they usually are. Not from the drugs. It’s blood. Her blood vessels broke and her eyes are so red.

“Mom?” I say louder as I walk closer to her.

Her chest isn’t moving. She’s so still. So quiet. I stare at her chest, waiting for it to rise with a breath as I kneel down next to her. My eyes are so blurry, why am I crying?

She’s not dead. She can’t be.

I shake her shoulders. “Mom!” I yell at her, and my heart beats faster with fear. Both that she’ll hurt me for yelling, and that she’s really dead.

I shake her, but the only sound is the chain around her neck. The necklace I bought her with the only money I had. She’s wearing it today. She wears it on days when she wants me to know that she loves me I think. She wore it today.

I sob as I shake her shoulders harder, screaming her name.

The necklace clinks and clinks as I pull her up, and I break it. It’s an accident. I just wanted her to breathe.

I didn’t mean it.

I didn’t mean any of it.

I wish I could take it back.

It’s my fault.

I hold the broken chain to my chest, leaning against the door.

Struggling to breathe and cope with the fact that she’s left me. I wanted her to though.

She can’t be with a monster like me. I only wish I was able to hold her longer.

I wish I was good enough for her.

Chapter 30

Katia

My shoulders shake as I sob uncontrollably as I sit at my desk chair in front of my open laptop. The pain is searing and I haven’t been able to sleep at all. Not that I want to. All I’ve been able to think about is him and how he sent me away. And how much it fucking hurts.

I desperately need someone to talk to, someone who understands me. But Kiersten isn’t online. I almost want to call my mom. Just to hear her tell me it’s going to be alright. But I can’t. Not yet. I don’t want to admit what’s happened to anyone. I want it to just be a nightmare.

I glance at the screen again, waiting for Kiersten to come on. She’s always here at night. I know I’ve been busy with Isaac, but I’ve kept up with her messages. I’m there for her. I made sure to tell her that. I always will be. And I need her now. I feel so selfish. But I truly need her now.

I’ve waited for the last two hours for her to appear, but she hasn’t logged on. I’ve sent direct message after message, hoping she’d get a notification on her cell, but nothing. I wipe away my tears with the back of my hand, trying desperately to get a hold of my emotions. I don’t know what to do.

I pull my knees to my chest, my feet sitting on the microfiber seat, biting down on the inside of my cheek with enough force to almost break the skin.

You can survive this, I tell myself. I am a strong woman. I’ve been through hell and back, and look at me. I survived.

“I’m a survivor,” I intone, but my voice cracks and a wave of emotions threatens to send me over the top, and I cover my mouth to keep sobs from escaping. Stop crying. I can’t let him do this to me. It’s my fault for pushing him. But I knew something was wrong. I just wish he’d tell me how to fix it. I will. I’ll do anything I can to fix it.

Fighting back more tears, I look around the house, trying to gain comfort from the yellow color, my animal ornaments, every little knickknack that was put here with purpose. To create a happy, soothing environment. A place that feels safe and inviting.