Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,124

different. One where I agree to be his Slave. It won’t just be something I can do as I please. Coming into the club when I want to play.

My heart skips a beat as anxiety washes over me. I want this. I know I do… but I don’t know if I can allow this. I part my lips to speak, but no words come out. I didn’t anticipate this happening so quickly.

“You can walk away at any time without fear of losing me as your Master.” Isaac rests his hand gently on my thigh as the paper crinkles in my hand.

I want to take solace in his words, but it’s difficult. “I was a Slave before,” I nearly whisper.

Isaac nods. “I know you were trained in some ways, but I have different tastes and preferences. I think that should be clear from some of the rules.”

“It is,” I say. I certainly could never look at my other Master without bowing. I couldn’t look him in the eyes without permission. I learned those rules the hard way. They were never written out, nothing ever was. Nor was I able to demand respect from others. I was to act like I was nothing. Because I was nothing. It’s hard to breathe as I compare the two. Isaac is not at all like my previous Master. Shame and guilt flow through me. The memories of what I went through consume me, the same chill and fear take over. “I can’t,” I blurt out, standing up quickly and nearly falling off the bed. I need to get out of here. I feel lightheaded and I need air. I can’t breathe.

Isaac places a hand on my shoulder and another on my hip, bracing me, steadying me from falling. He can tell that I’m not alright, and he’s not pressing me. I’m grateful.

“Shh, you’re with me, kitten,” he shushes me. Calming me, but I still can’t breathe.

“Bathroom, please.”

“Of course,” he says and leads me out of the room, the men watching us as he takes me to a private bathroom in the hall. I grip onto his hands as he tries to leave me, not ready to let go.

“I’m here. I’ll be here when you get back. I promise you, it’s alright.”

Slowly, I leave his side and concentrate on the click of my heels on the tiled floor and taking one breath at a time.

Inside, I slump against the sink, bowing my head, my mind racing with panic. Slowly the sound of the blood rushing in my ears is replaced by the dull hum of the music I heard when I first walked in. I’m safe here. I’m safe.

I whisper the words to Fire and Ice over and over again. Slowly, my pulse calms, my vision clears. I blink away the flashes of memories and look at the woman staring back at me.

I’m strong. I’m healthy. I’m healed.

Healed? I don’t know. I don’t know anymore. I’m unsure about everything. Sucking in a deep breath, I turn on the faucet, letting the cool water wash over my heated skin and greedily drinking some of it to soothe my dried, aching throat. The sound of the door opening causes me to jump, but I relax just as quickly as Madam Lynn walks in, her vibrant red heels clicking against the floor.

She walks directly over to me, her eyes wide with concern. “Are you alright, Katia?” she asks me gently, placing a hand on my shoulder.

I turn off the faucet, concentrating on the sound. My lower lip trembles as I answer her honestly. “I don’t know… I’m trying.” I let out a ragged sigh, feeling tears sting the back of my eyes, but I don’t cry. “It’s hard to let go and to trust that everything is going to be okay.” Despite my confusion, I know I still want Isaac as my Master. All of him. But I can’t submit so much power and control so quickly. I can’t do it. I won’t. I’m just worried that he won’t be able to wait for me, that he might think I’m too broken to fix. But I won’t do it. Not yet.

“This is about your Master?” she asks me. “Is he even your Master?”

“I don’t know.” Again I answer honestly, and it pains me as I realize he isn’t. A Master needs control in all things. “No, he’s not.”

“Do you want him to be?” she asks in a comforting voice.

“Yes,” I answer quickly. “I’m afraid I can’t submit right now