Highest Bidder Collection - Lauren Landish Page 0,116

in and out of my pussy runs through my mind. Another moan of frustration escapes my lips. It was so fucking hot. Isaac had been in complete control the whole time. It was unreal. He’d instantly known what I wanted. What I fucking needed.

And I need more of it. Now.

I have to go back, I decide, resisting the urge to reach down and smack my throbbing clit the way he did. I can’t wait. The only problem is I’m afraid of committing completely. Afraid of the unknown. In the club though, I’ll be safe.

I roll over again, feeling frustrated and wanting to grind my pussy against the bedding so I can get some relief. But he told me not to. I don’t have permission. The very thought makes me breathe easier. I will obey him. I will not disappoint him.

I can’t get over how powerful and commanding he was. The look in his eyes behind that mask… full of desire. I hear the roar of engines outside, cars passing by on the highway, adding to my frustration. The sounds aren’t helping keep me from falling asleep, but even if they weren’t there, I wouldn’t be able to sleep. I’m too wound up and needing his touch. It’s been so long since I’ve wanted like this. Since I felt this need.

But it isn't like not being able to sleep is anything new. There’ve been many nights I’ve been unable to sleep, but for a different reason entirely. A shiver goes down my spine, and a weight presses down on my chest. I close my eyes and shake my head, refusing to go there.

I ignore the emotions threatening to smother me, suffocating me like they have night after night as another pulse rocks my clit. I’m too excited. Since getting my life back, I’ve dreamed of a place like Club X, somewhere I could fulfill my fantasies and make myself whole again. I deserve happiness in every way. Including my sexual needs, but I hadn’t found an outlet. Until today.

But he wants more. A collar. I grip my throat, my pulse picking up speed, remembering the metal chain around my neck and the spikes that dug painfully into my skin.

No, I think and shake my head, not wanting to go there. To the dark memories. But it’s too late. I can't stop feeling the sensation of the choking collar my Master used to train me. The desire burning up my body flees as a flood of fear washes over me and I sit upright in the bed, my heart pounding like a battering ram. The burning sweat covering my skin turns cold as I try to gain control.

Isaac is not like that, I tell myself. He won’t be like that.

There should be no comparison. The two aren’t even remotely the same. A collar would be the only thing that they have in common. And the title. Master. I already feel something with Isaac that I never felt with my previous Master. Respect. It’s hard to understand, though. In some ways, Isaac reminds me of Master O.

Tears prick my eyes as I remember the only Master that was nice to me. Whenever I was around him, I felt safe. He was caring, and always sensitive to my needs and wants. In a way, I hated him for making me feel safe because I wanted him to take me away and make me his. But he never did. He had the power to save me, but didn’t. I felt betrayed by that, like he’d put on this show to be nice to me when he really didn’t care about me. None of them ever did.

I pull my knees to my chest, instinctively wrapping my fingers around my ankle. I was so filled with desire from tonight’s events, I forgot to cover my ankle with my weighted blanket. But I need it now. I sit there for what seems like hours, but it’s only a few minutes. Listening to the cars pass by outside, my heart thudding in my chest, I keep trying to push away those dark memories.

It’s gone. It’s in the past. I’ve dealt with these emotions. I thought I’d come to terms with them.

Lies, the dark voice whispers inside of me. You’d barely acknowledged their existence.

I take in a shuddering breath, refusing to listen and counting softly in my head as I repeat the poem Fire and Ice over and over again. It’s a trick I learned to lessen my anxiety, long