a storefront and was peering into the window. He looked over at Erik and beckoned with his chin.
Erik went. It was a jewelry store. Will touched the glass with a gloved fingertip, pointing to a white mannequin head. Its chin was turned aside to show off a thin gold chain at the neck, off which hung a tiny gold fish. Not a carved bob like Erik’s charm but flat, no bigger than his little fingernail. Next to it hung a single freshwater pearl.
Erik looked at his friend, then back at the necklace.
“I don’t believe in coincidences,” Will said.
The bell on the jamb tinkled as Erik pushed the door open and walked into the perfumed warmth of the shop.
“THINGS GOING ALL RIGHT with Will?” Daisy asked that night in bed.
“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, it’s good.”
“What do you talk about?”
“Oh God, all kinds of shit. You. Me. Us. Life. Parenthood.” He told her about the boy and the condoms in the drug store.
“You know he and Lucky didn’t plan this third baby,” she said. “After Sara, they were done. One boy, one girl, they were set. So Lucky got an implant. Eighteen months later…surprise.”
“Holy shit. Will must have sneezed really hard one night.”
She laughed. “It wasn’t exactly joyful when they found out. It was definitely a decision to have it, not a no-brainer.”
He turned onto his side. “Lie against my back?” he asked.
She snugged up to his shoulder blades, her hand coming around to rest on his heart. Bastet jumped on the bed and settled between their calves, kneading the mattress and purring.
Erik took a deep breath. “Something I want to talk about.”
“All right,” she said.
“The other night?”
“Which night. We have several now.”
He threaded his fingers with hers. “The first night I was here. When I asked if you needed me to use something.”
“I’m on the pill.”
“I know. But what if you hadn’t been?”
“Ah.” She kissed his head and gently closed her teeth on the top of his ear. “You mean would I trap you into staying by getting pregnant?”
“Well, I’m staying anyway,” he said, while his mind bit its nails.
Quit fucking around and tell her.
He sighed. Did he have to?
Yes. Now. Everything on the table.
“That’s your troubled sigh,” Daisy said.
He smiled. “You remember.”
“Qu’est-ce qui se passe?”
He rolled over to face her. “My marriage began to fall apart when we tried to have kids,” he said, taking both her hands. “The shortest, simplest story is I have some major plumbing issues and I probably couldn’t get you pregnant even if I wanted to.”
The room raised its eyebrows. Even Bastet looked up from washing a paw and stared at him. Really?
He squeezed his eyes tight then opened them. “That sounded better in my head than it did out loud.”
“Shh,” she said, her own eyes closed. “I’m rearranging my personal narrative.”
He pressed the clump of their fingers to his mouth and waited.
The room went away on tiptoes.
A click in Daisy’s throat as she swallowed. When she opened her eyes, the blue-green of her gaze was blurred and wet.
“I’m so sorry,” he said.
“Sorry for what?”
“I know why things ended with Ray.”
Her smile flickered. “Will told you?”
He nodded.
Her chest filled up, then slowly deflated. “Ray wasn’t you,” she said. “And this conversation isn’t about me.”
“Isn’t it, though?”
“It’s about us.” A single tear tracked diagonally from one eye to her nose. Her hand settled soft on his face. Her thumb moved along his lower lip. Her breath became his breath.
“Erik, I’m in love with you,” she said.
“Still?”
“It never stopped.” She leaned up and brushed her mouth against his. “I’ve rearranged now,” she said. “And the shortest, simplest story is I still want you.”
“Even if it’s not your dream?”
“You are my dream. I want us.”
“You want a family, too.”
“I know a lot of different ways to have a family.”
He made and discarded a half dozen sentences. “It’s hard to say what I want to say without getting way ahead of myself.”
“Tell me.”
“I was ambivalent about kids with Melanie. But with you… If the time comes… I mean, when it comes…it’s going to matter. I already know it’s going to be different. Because it’s you. And it’s us.”
She nodded. “When it’s our time,” she said. “I’ll do anything. Right now, all I want is you. And to know where you are.”
He nodded, lost in her eyes. Perfect peace drawing over him like a glove welcoming cold fingers. He ran his hand soft over her head, remembering all the nights he reached into the empty dark beside him and made