you. I—I don’t think I ever could mean to hurt you.”
After a moment, Tommy’s jaw softened as if he’d unclenched his teeth.
“If it helps,” Kris said, “my stupid heroics have left me training to replace Mark as the damned king, and it’s endless and thankless and I’m terrified.”
His brother’s brow dipped. “You have Frankie to support you.”
“I know.” Kris had believed that with Frankie by his side, he’d be capable of shouldering a king’s burden—but he’d meant in addition to his brothers. Not as a replacement. “But you and Mark are my baseline support. I was made with you guys. I don’t know this life without you. I’m not supposed to.” A tree couldn’t stand without its roots. “And you’re not supposed to get by without us, either, Tom.”
At that, his brother turned his back. The horse shifted forward, lowering its head, and Tommy ran a hand gently down its nose.
“It’s not you,” Tommy said quietly.
Kris wanted to slide the door open and stand beside his brother until Tommy looked at him, like he’d always done as a boy, because then, shoving into Tommy’s personal space had been the only way to make him talk. But Tommy was safely isolated. Kris wouldn’t enter the stall of a horse that didn’t know him.
“What do you mean?” Kris didn’t understand. “Why avoid me if it isn’t about me?”
Tommy didn’t answer, his posture strained.
Kris held down his frustration. “I need you around,” he said. “That’s what I’m trying to say. Don’t hide from me. Please? This king thing is too big for me to manage without you. I can’t do it. Not like this.”
Tommy froze. The horse snorted and he carefully resumed patting.
Kris wished his stare could grab the back of his brother’s shirt and haul him closer. “Tell me how I can make this better.”
“You can’t.” Tommy’s strong shoulders were rigid. “It’s not you.”
A different kind of regret panged in Kris’s chest and he lowered his voice. “I thought you were doing okay.”
Tommy lowered his head. “I wanted you to be wrong. About skipping me. I wanted to prove that I could cope.” He scoffed in disgust. “I tried going into the city a few weeks ago. I asked my guards to find a quiet bar with pool tables. Halfway there, I had a panic attack. We were in a grocery-store parking lot for thirty-five minutes before I could breathe properly.”
Kris muttered a curse.
“I took it out on you.” Tommy angled his head to one side. Not looking at Kris, but no longer blocking him out. “I’ve been feeling like shit and envying how easily you move through life. You can be around people. Talk to them. Make them like you. You forgave Frankie.” He paused, and Kris saw his throat move on a hard swallow. “And here I am, freaking out at the thought of being in a half-empty bar holding a fucking pool cue.”
“Well, you’ve always sucked at pool, so the thought should scare you.”
Tommy huffed out a breath, shooting Kris a wry glance over his shoulder. Then he sobered. “Sorry.”
“Yeah.” Kris lowered his forehead to the bars as relief unwound him. “Can we hang out?”
“Don’t you have a drinks reception in half an hour?”
“Who, me?” He straightened, pulling a face. “Nah.”
“Oh, God.” But there was a shadow of pleasure in the corner of his brother’s mouth.
Kris jerked his head at the magnificent stallion behind Tommy. “Tell me what’s been going on in here.”
“I spoke to one of our saddlers earlier about him and the other quarter horses.” Tommy gestured to the neighboring stalls where the newly arrived horses had been homed. “They’re about to start the leatherwork for new saddles and bridles.”
“They’ll be faultless.”
“Without a doubt.” With a parting pat, Tommy crossed to the door and this time, Kris let him out. “Did you know that many monarchies have mews instead of stables?” Tommy slid the door closed behind him and latched it shut. “But Kira City is too steep for carriages. Until cars, our family only ever kept horses. Even for ceremonial occasions.”
Kris started to smile. “You’re telling me we come from a long line of horse riders?”
Tommy’s head tilt confirmed it.
“That’s the best,” he said, shaking his head with a grin.
Then Tommy asked him to explain more about being terrified, so Kris spoke about policies and dignitaries and the looming pressure to produce heirs. All the while, they redid chores that had already been done, because it felt good to move, to breathe in the familiar stable