She appeared very sorry. So much that he felt bad about scolding her. He had to check the impulse to embrace her and reassure her that he had never been much at risk.
“We also learned something else,” he said, by way of appeasement. “We know that it is most unlikely that he could go over without that push. There is no chance that he tripped, say, and lost his balance and plunged over.”
“No chance at all, it seems to me.”
In other words, the duke’s death had not been an accident.
* * *
She walked away from the spot, taking the long way in so she would navigate the entire roof before returning to the door. He trailed right behind her. She felt him there. Still angry, but not as much now.
She stopped on the front of the house. The prospect was magnificent. Not many hills here, and beyond the stand of trees along the approaching lane she could see the road, and even villages and farmhouses in the distance.
“It is remarkable up here,” she said. “I understand why he favored it. If I lived here I would come up several times a day.”
Chase said nothing, just looked out as she did. She liked how sometimes they shared a companionable silence like this.
“Distraught?” The word came to her quietly, in a tone of amusement and curiosity. “I am flattered.”
She would have to watch every word she spoke to him, since he apparently did.
“No matter what you think, I do not kill men with nary a concern.”
“Concern is understandable. Distraught, however—”
“We did share some kisses. I would have a cold heart if I did not feel at least somewhat distraught.”
Fingertips brushed down the side of her face, making her cheek quiver with a pleasant little shock. He took careful hold of her chin and turned her face so she could see him, and he her.
“About those kisses,” he said. “Did I in some way frighten you?”
Her soul sighed. He wanted to know why she had reacted as she had.
“It was nothing you did. There is no blame on you.”
“I don’t understand.”
Of course not. How could he? She had never talked about this with anyone. She never had to, because she had not been touched or kissed in years. She gazed down, because she could never speak of this if she looked at him. “I am not like other women. It is not in my nature to know that kind of pleasure or desire. Please accept this explanation. To say more is too embarrassing.”
Putting it into words made it more real. She had long ago accepted and lived with the sad truth, yet admitting this out loud almost took the breath out of her.
That touch lifted her chin. “That is not true, Minerva. You were no more unmoved than I was. Do you think a man cannot tell what a woman is feeling?”
For a while she had known that pleasure with Chase. The renewal would only make the final result more disappointing. At some point, if matters progressed, she would again be the empty vessel tolerating a man’s imposition. She never wanted to experience that again. Ever.
She should tell him he was wrong, that she had taken a taste to see if anything had changed for her, but only learned it had not. It would be a lie, but it would avoid more explanations.
“Perhaps you misunderstood because you wanted to.”
His thumb stroked her lips. “Did I? Tell me I did and that those kisses moved you not at all and I will never again do it.”
Never again. One word and that part of her could go back to sleep. A real anguish gripped her heart. That soft stroke on her lips raised a rebellion in her spirit against speaking. Maybe . . . perhaps . . .
His lips replaced his thumb. Warmer. Firmer. She closed her eyes and tried not to hope too much.
Wonderful how the sensations absorbed one, so there soon were no thoughts or fears. The pleasure was too physical and the intimacy too spiritual to allow for distracting worries. A wave of sensual wonder crashed through her, soaking the parched areas of her soul.
She did not mind the embrace. She welcomed it. She did not object when he moved her to one of those benches and took her on his lap. His increased ardor and the consuming kisses and firm caresses did not frighten her this time. She even enjoyed the way his exploring tongue made