Up for Heir - Stella Starling Page 0,52

it hard to breathe again. It had hurt when Hans had dumped him, but Edvin had gotten over it. He wasn’t at all sure he could get over Leo, though.

“So you’re… not feeling well, darling?” Leo asked, sounding understandably confused, because he obviously hadn’t noticed the mustard stain yet or realized that Edvin didn’t fit in here and never would. “Should I cancel the fitting?”

Edvin’s eyes started to sting, his throat suddenly too tight to answer and his future too bleak and empty to think about if Leo wasn’t going to be in it anymore. Oh Lord. Edvin’s emotions were suddenly more volatile than those of his teenage sisters, but he couldn’t help it. The palace was just… it was a lot. And Edvin, well, he wasn’t.

“Shhh,” Leo said, rubbing a soothing hand in circles against his back and still being relentlessly wonderful. “No rush. Just breathe.”

Edvin couldn’t.

But then… then suddenly he could. It must have been a love thing.

Granted, Leo had never said anything about love, not yet—and to be fair, neither had Edvin—but sometimes, kind of a lot of the time recently if he was honest, Edvin felt it anyway. And with Leo looking down at him like this, of course he could breathe, because if Leo really did love him—or even just if Leo could love him someday—then Edvin could do anything.

No, wait. That… that wasn’t quite right. Because yes, Leo was wonderful and amazing and Edvin had never known anyone like him—and not because Leo was a prince, but because he treated Edvin like he was one—but underneath all the insecurities swirling around inside him, muddling his head and constricting his lungs, there was also a part of him that knew better. A part of him that wasn’t quite ready to just roll over and accept that he wasn’t good enough, the way he had with Hans. A part that wanted to fight for a future that did have Leo in it. A part that was insistently whispering that yes, Edvin could do anything… and that he’d been quietly capable of that long before he’d fallen in love with his prince.

And okay, sure, maybe Edvin’s track record wasn’t full of accomplishing big, earth-shaking, attention-getting things—not even things he was generally acknowledged or given credit for, which was fine—but hadn’t he singlehandedly raised all four of his siblings? And even if he hadn’t done a perfect job—because Oliver still used too much profanity and Linnea constantly tracked dirt into the apartment and Tilde had pierced her navel without permission over spring break and Astrid might never master algebra at the rate she was going—his little family was still healthy and happy and whole, and that counted for something, right?

Although okay, maybe not “whole”—they’d never be that now that their parents were gone—but still, somehow Edvin had managed to hold all the most important pieces together, even when he’d felt like he was drowning. Out of his depth. Intimidated and overwhelmed and all too aware of everything he hadn’t known when it came to suddenly being tasked with the responsibility of raising the siblings he’d spent the first eighteen years of his life squabbling with.

And now, well, that same part of him that had believed in himself enough to figure it out anyway, because he’d had to, that part was telling him that he could figure this out, too. That he might not exactly belong in the palace, but he did belong with Leo… and he wasn’t going to let a little thing like being terrified and insecure mess that up for him.

Edvin took a breath, straightening his shoulders. It was simple, really, when he looked at it like that. Wherever Leo was, that was where Edvin belonged, too. And yes, he felt out of his depth here at the palace, but the palace was Leo’s home, so Edvin would just have to figure out how to swim. Do some research. Finally find out how he was supposed to act around all the royals, master sun salutations or whatever the proper protocol was, let the tailor make him some fancy clothes, and stop eating mustard with his lunch.

And maybe… maybe let himself believe that the happily ever after that it very much felt like he and Leo were destined for could really happen.

Wait, no. He didn’t just need to believe in it. He needed to work for it.

He could do that. He would do that.

“Tell me what’s wrong, darling?” Leo prompted, still looking concerned.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Edvin said, his