do best. It’s why some of us shed our human names and leave our families behind. It’s a death ritual. But the final nail in the coffin is one you have to put in yourself. That will be the day you won’t need to drink or talk about it anymore.”
“The day I won’t have feelings.”
“Not the way you think. Niko has feelings, but I doubt he’ll be weeping at our funerals.” Christian cradled my neck in his strong hands. “When I’m in your presence, I sometimes remember what it’s like to feel human. When we have these conversations, when you look into my eyes like I’m not a killer. But then I see you retching on the floor and drinking all hours, and I’m glad that part of me is dead.” He stroked my cheek with his thumbs and reeled me in with his hypnotic gaze. “Don’t have another thought about last night. You were a victim of magic, and I’ll not dwell on anything you might have done. Nor should you. We’re better than that.”
I lowered my hands until they rested near his V-cut. “You shouldn’t be here. It jeopardizes the mission.”
He wrapped his arms around me. “It’s lonely without you around.”
“I’ve got hours before I have to go to work. Want to fool around?”
“After you put your head in a toilet bowl?”
My hands slid down to his pants. “Then let me take care of your needs.”
He captured my wrists and lowered my arms. “If there’s one thing I have, it’s patience. For you, I’ll wait an eternity.”
I fell into his arms and rested my cheek against his warm chest. “Thanks for looking after me.”
“It was either that or let you wander the streets mounting light poles.”
“I might have caused another blackout and electrocuted myself.”
He gently kissed my head. “I’d have passed out sparklers and vibrators at your funeral.”
Christian’s heart thumped in a steady rhythm. His embrace was safe, something I’d only ever experienced with my father. “Anything new happening at home?” I asked, curious if he’d tell me about Lenore’s visit.
He stroked my hair. “Nothing you need worry about.”
Christian was right. We were stronger than that, and this conversation didn’t need to devolve into a petty argument about another woman. I had something she wanted, and that was Christian’s loyalty. Maybe there were two sides to the story, and I was trying too hard to villainize a woman who might have done what she did to protect herself. Maybe you can only toy with a killer’s emotions for so long before they turn that rage on you. Christian was willing to do anything for me, and because of that, I’d kept secrets about Houdini. Not because I wanted to, but it was the only way I could protect Christian from self-destructing.
In any case, Lenore no longer had influence over him. She might have a sweet position with the higher authority, but money or power wasn’t enough to sway Christian. His second home was a shack in the woods, and he’d spent all his money to save my father, a man he didn’t particularly care for.
“Do you have any suspects?” he asked. “Shepherd has a few in mind.”
“None that jump out.” I backed up toward the door. “I do have one guy that approached me last night and gave me his business card.” I stared at it on the floor where it lay next to my bra. “I’m going to call him and see if it leads anywhere.”
“Keep your boots on so Wyatt can track you. And if you leave the club, use the front door so Blue will see you. I had to call her this morning to let her know you were here.”
“Do you think she’ll tell Viktor?”
“Aye. She’s loyal like that. But Viktor will understand why I had no choice but to get involved, and Claude was a witness. We haven’t compromised the mission. I was careful moving about the club. I put you in the cab alone and rode separately.” He propped his hand on the door and looked down at me.
I reached up and stroked his beard. “Can you do me a favor?”
“And what’s that, lass?”
“Order me Chinese food. I have an insatiable appetite.”
A crooked grin wound up his cheek. “So do I, Precious. So do I.”
Chapter 13
After ordering Raven orange chicken with fried rice and egg rolls, Christian surreptitiously left the hotel through a back door. Without sunglasses, driving his Ducati with the sun in his eyes was pure torture. Since he had