it should have been my life taken that night instead of hers.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I tried my best to make something of myself. I know it’s not the life you imagined, and I guess in the end, I got what I deserved.” I gasped, overcome with grief, and then blew out a calming breath.
It wouldn’t be long before I forgot everything, and then I’d have to go through this panic all over again. How many hours of oxygen did I have? Sometimes Wyatt struck up morbid conversations, and I tuned them out, but it seemed like I remembered him saying a few hours. Maybe five? Could I still scream when the air ran out?
Vampires used to be staked and buried, and the only people who could locate them were Gravewalkers. But I was more than a Vampire—I was a Mage. Maybe flaring would attract a nearby Mage.
But in a human cemetery?
How many days would it take?
How many years?
Would I wither away like a dried-up flower? If found, would I even want them to resuscitate me? I couldn’t even end my own life—not without a match or a long blade. Then I thought about Christian and the full decade he’d spent underground. With the impalement wood in his chest, he couldn’t move. All he could do was lie still and slowly go insane with his own thoughts.
No wonder he had such a short temper.
And now I was about to embark on the same dark journey. I would finally know what he had experienced—not knowing if I’d ever be found, not knowing how long I could endure it all. And I’d only been in here less than a few minutes.
I waited. Waited for the tide of panic to drown me once my memories swept away like a current going out to sea. Waited for my lungs to squeeze tightly when the air ran out and I drowned in darkness. Waited to see if I’d pass out, and if so, for how long. Waited to see when the starvation would consume my every thought. Waited for the bargaining to begin of all the things I would do if only the fates would let me out. Waited to see how long it would take to go insane.
I waited to see the real Raven Black unmasked—the one who lived beneath my skin. The dark and primal core of me—a side that most people never got to see within themselves.
If they were lucky.
Chapter 35
Christian stood at Keystone’s front window and looked outside. After searching Flynn’s apartment and collecting what evidence he could gather, he’d driven home. It didn’t come as a surprise when Raven didn’t return. Sometimes after a job, she would treat herself at Ruby’s Diner or walk around the city. Sometimes she liked to sit atop buildings or visit her old stomping grounds. He respected her privacy and desire for solitude after a stressful assignment. Since she didn’t have a phone on her, all he could do was wait. Patience was something he had an abundance of.
Claude attempted in vain to sneak up and lock his arm around Christian’s shoulder, but you can’t sneak up on a Vampire. “Come drink with us.”
“I don’t want to be langered before Raven gets here. It’s not even dark.”
“I’m not asking you to get drunk. Just have a drink. If Raven wanted to celebrate with us, she’d be here. Viktor just cracked open a three-hundred-year-old bottle, and I think I lost feeling in my lips.” Claude leaned toward the window and squinted. “Did she call? Is she on her way?”
Christian sidestepped to distance himself and leaned against the wall, arms folded. “She doesn’t have her phone with her. I left a message with her da. She might have gone for a visit.”
“My sources say no,” Claude replied, swaying.
“Your sources are unreliable.”
Claude pointed outside. “My source is riding up the road.”
Once Christian unsuppressed his hearing, he heard the distinct sound of a motorcycle. He opened the door and stood outside as Crush rolled up. The old man wore a bandana secured around his head, dark shades on his eyes, and a scowl that seemed to be a genetic trait in the family. Crush throttled the bike before shutting off the engine.
Claude hugged Christian from behind. “I’ll leave you two alone to kill each other.”
The door closed, but Christian kept his eyes locked on Crush.
Raven’s dad strutted up to Christian, putting more weight on his right knee than his left. The man was falling apart before his very eyes.