back then. And that Ronan had grown into the warrior who’d become a Marine, but the fundamental parts of him had not changed.
His demeanor cool and aloof, he was controlled, dominant, and so very intense that sometimes I had to look away from him just so my heart didn’t shatter.
I was as familiar with that sixteen-year-old Ronan as I was with the man in front of me now.
But he was also very different. Not even his thick, dark eyelashes that framed his magnificent eyes could soften the sharp features that had become his impossibly rugged, handsome face.
Just like all those years ago, he still made me feel both weak with need to be near him and in awe of his presence. But now, the man that was Ronan elicited a new feeling. Heated blood and frenzied nerves swirled so low in my belly, I wanted to part my legs for him. I wanted to bring him close in ways that we’d never shared. I wanted it so bad, I ached for it like I was sick.
Forcing my heart rate to slow, feigning an indifference I had never felt around him, I apologized. “I’m sorry. That was rude.”
His gaze gripping my soul, his eyes holding me captive, he didn’t respond.
Blushing, I felt seventeen again. “May I start over?” Today, yesterday, a decade ago?
Barely a breath of movement, he tipped his chin.
Traitorous hope surged, and heat bloomed across my cheeks. “Hi.”
He stepped forward.
The gasp slipped through my parted lips as he closed the space between us and filled it with ocean breezes and soapy musk.
He looked down at me with his heavenly eyes, and his thick, soft black hair fell over his forehead.
I didn’t think.
I reached up and brushed the silky strands back. But then I couldn’t stop myself. My hand curled into his hair, and a plea whispered from my heart. “Ronan, please.”
Swift, dominant, he gripped my wrist. “Stop.”
Frozen in his commanding grip, I didn’t move. Fearful a single breath would shatter our precarious closeness, I didn’t even breathe.
Low, resonant, his voice curled around my aching need. “You have no idea what you’re asking for.”
I did. I was asking for everything. I was asking for this angry, complex, beautiful man to hold me accountable. I wanted all of his rage, passion and hurt. I wanted his emotions. I wanted to take them and absorb it and then finally, selfishly, I wanted him to forgive me.
Standing on an edge as sure as I stood twenty stories above the deep ocean below us, I opened my mouth and pleaded. “Hurt me like I hurt you.”
Before either of us had drawn our next breaths, my wrist was pinned behind my back and he was gripping my hair at my nape, using his hold to force my head back.
Hovering a fraction above my mouth, he asked the last thing I was expecting, but the one thing I should’ve been prepared for. “How should I betray you, Sanaa?”
From his punishing grip on my hair, from the way his words stabbed my heart, my eyes welled. “I don’t know.” His hard body leaning into mine, there was no room for lies, but even now I couldn’t speak the truth. I couldn’t tell him an eye for an eye. I couldn’t tell him to use another woman in front of me. I couldn’t give him permission to do to me what I had done to him.
Pressing my wrist into my lower back, pushing my body into his, his hard length grew against my abdomen as if he desired me, but then his words spit hateful anger. “Should I fuck one of your cousins? Someone who works for you? Should I bring a woman in off the street and touch her naked body in front of you?”
The knife twisted in my chest. “I-I didn’t sleep with Vance.”
“Did he see this body naked? Did you let him covet what was mine? Do you think it’s any less of a betrayal because he didn’t take your virginity before I walked in?”
Hurt dripped down my face. “I—”
“You think fucking another woman in front of you will even the score? I should betray my own heart to appease your guilt?”
The knife drove all the way in, and I shattered just like I did ten years ago. “Ronan, please, I didn’t know.”
“I was going to make you my wife.” His grip tightened. “You knew that.” Fury turned his eyes the color of the angry ocean outside. “I was going to give you everything I