Heartbeat Repeating - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,86
definition doesn’t begin to cover it.
What he really feels is the other words the Ancient Greeks had for love all rolled into one.
Eros, in the way he backs Avery down onto the bed and grinds their cocks together, making his breath catch in his throat. Eros, in the way that he curls his hand around them both and strokes until Avery is nearly mindless with need to come.
Agape, in the way that they’re here, on Crete. They’re in a villa and having this moment which will lead Avery to a place he never really believed he’d see with his own eyes. Agape, in the way Alejandro kisses him with purpose—not just to reach a climax, but to press quiet promises into his skin as a reminder that Avery will always and forever be one of his priorities. Agape, which is slowly and carefully erasing all traces of ludus—the selfish, love that offered no commitment even though Avery could see how badly Alejandro wanted a future with him.
Avery opens his eyes and stares at the texture ceiling, though not really seeing anything. He’s lost in the bite of Alejandro’s kisses, in the restless way his fingers want to touch every inch of his body like even a full year of being able to do this—unrestrained—and he still hasn’t had his fill. Not that Avery would ever complain.
His mouth finds Avery’s cock after a short time. He sucks the head, tastes the precome from his slit, sucks his balls into his mouth and rolls them with his tongue. Avery has never had a lover understand him, never had another man be able to read what he wants—what he needs—from gentle shifts and subtle catches of his breath the way that Alejandro can.
And he thinks that this is paradise. He thinks that maybe he died in that cold parking lot two years ago and he’s slowly been working his way through Sheol and into Elysium. He’s not sure what he’s done to deserve a hero’s death, but he’s not sure it’s possible that this is his life—his reality.
Not without some sort of divine intervention.
He doesn’t think about it for long, though. Instead, he lets his knees fall to the side, leaving him as open as he can get. Alejandro leaves, but only for a moment, though it feels like an eternity. Warmth returns with his body, and his long fingers press into him because even though Avery likes to be opened up on his dick, he indulges Alejandro’s need to touch him there, like his hands have to graze every part of him that he can reach.
It culminates with two fingers pushing into his mouth as Alejandro’s dick—nearly dripping with lube—slides in. Avery’s barely stretched so the ache is intense, just the way he likes it. He grunts a little around the digits that press down against his tongue—not quite enough to make him gag, but almost.
It feels good though—he feels possessed. Just like he feels it in the way that Alejandro sits on his knees and cradles Avery’s ass on his lap and holds a hand under his back so he can’t really move or thrust. He’s entirely at Alejandro’s mercy, spread open on his dick. And apart from being able to squeeze his legs, it’s all he gets.
But it doesn’t matter—it never matters.
Alejandro’s body brings him to climax hard enough that his eyes roll back and his breath halts in his chest. Everything whites out and he’s barely aware of his come splattering across his skin. He feels it more when Alejandro fills him, and his ass spasms around the throbbing dick, and he sends a prayer into the universe to let them just stay like this forever.
He doesn’t think God is going to answer that one, though. And as Alejandro softens and feeling starts to return to his limbs, Avery realizes he doesn’t need it to be forever—because he can have it whenever he wants for now.
He smiles at the press of kisses—softer this time, kinder. Sweet.
Pragma love, he thinks, with a warmth settling behind his ribs. Alejandro doesn’t treat him like a duty, but he treats him like a person deserving of attention and love and responsibility. He’s not his sugar daddy anymore, but Avery’s needs still come first so much of the time, and it chokes him every now and again because it’s easy to forget what he brings to the table.
But, in the quiet moments, just like this one, Alejandro reminds him. It’s the way he sets Avery off to the side and wraps around him from behind, and his kisses feel like thank yous against the back of his neck. It’s the way the drag of his fingers feel like penitent pleas to forgive him for those long months he tortured them both with his fears of loving and losing someone again.
And perhaps it’s a little cruel, but knowing that Alejandro needs him for those things settles something restless in his bones. It allows him to open his legs and curl them around Alejandro’s hips. It has his head tipping up and lips parting to swallow down kisses and soft moans and endless promises of forever.
“Do you want to get up?” Alejandro asks as they bask in each other.
Avery smiles and shakes his head. “We have time.”
Alejandro’s eyes are soft, light, an ease in them Avery rarely gets to see, and treasures every time he does. “We do. We have all month.”
And then some, Avery thinks, but he lets those words hang silent between them as they kiss again. And then again. And again.
The End
Coming Soon:
The first book in a new Motorcycle Romance Series
Two men from two different worlds are brought together in the most unlikely circumstances. Deaf dancer, Logan, is at the wrong place at the wrong time, and it’s up to the Broken Chains’ VP Gunner to make sure he gets out of it alive.
Coming late January, 2021
Afterword
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Acknowledgments
Thank you to Alexis for the late-night chats and sharing your experiences of loss with me. To the two most important people in the world to me that I’ve lost—grief never goes away and I never stop missing you, but the burden gets lighter each year, and makes it easier to remember your love. And to my very first therapist who gave me three little letters that made the world make sense again, even if some days are still harder than others.
Also by E.M. Lindsey
Baum’s Boxing:
Book One: Below the Belt
Book Two: Fortune and Fate
Book Three: Fringe Contender
Breaking the Rules:
Book One: Renegades
Book Two: Temptation
Book Three: Forsaken
Irons and Works:
The Complete Series With Bonus Content
Book One: Free Hand
Book Two: Blank Canvas
Book Three: American Traditional
Book Four: Bio-Mechanical
Book Five: Stick-and-Poke
Book Six: Scarification
To Touch the Light- An Irons and Works Holiday novel
Love Beyond Measure
The Edge of Heaven
Love In Slow Motion
Magnum Opus Series:
Verismo
Coming 2021: Staccato
On The Market Series:
Book One: Love Him Free
Book Two: Love Him Breathless
Book Three: Love Him Wild
Book Four: Love Him Steady
Book Five: Love Him Desperate
Stand-Alone Novels:
Like Water Catching Fire
Forget-Me-Not
With Kate Hawthorne and EM Denning:
Cloudy With A Chance of Love
About the Author
E.M. Lindsey lives in the south east United States, close to the water where their heart lies.