Heartbeat Repeating - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,83
Avery’s promises that he finally, finally trusts.
Back at Avery’s parents’, things are tense. His father looks angry, and his mother looks resigned, but Alejandro knows there’s nothing he can do about it. He thinks he’d probably be the same way if Gabrielle had grown up and brought someone home thirty years older than her. In fact, he knows he’d be worse.
So, he takes the scrutiny and then after they light the chanukiah—all eight candles burning bright and beautiful in the window, he wanders into the kitchen to speak to Avery’s mother. Her name is Esther, and it fits her—her hair dark and full like his, but her jaw rounder and her eyes a little fiercer.
She eyes him, and he leans against the counter. “Can I help?”
She hands him a bowl of runner beans, and he gets to work. He used to do this for Connor after a garden harvest, but this feels more important.
“Do you have children?” she asks after a beat.
He’s been asked that before—and normally he just says no, or he offers silence. This time he clears his throat. “I did.”
The moment stretches out between them. “Avery hasn’t told us much about you.”
“I was married before,” he offers, looking at his hands instead of her face. He doesn’t think this’ll get any easier, but it does hurt less. “Twelve years ago, my ex-husband and I used a surrogate. Her name was Gabrielle.” He licks his lips, and when she gives him time, he knows exactly where Avery gets his grace from. “We were on vacation, and she woke up unable to use the left side of her body. She’d been complaining about being dizzy—having headaches for a couple of months before.” He clears his throat again, but it doesn’t make the words come easier. “Her GP said it was growing pains when we had her checked out before, but it turned out she had a tumor.” He takes his time to finish the bowl then passes it over. “She was gone really fast—after they told us about the cancer. We looked into treatment, but every specialist told us it was terminal and neither of us wanted her to suffer if it wasn’t going to make a difference.”
Esther is quiet for a very long time. “How…old was she?”
“Almost four,” he says. They’d already been planning her birthday. There was supposed to be a petting zoo and pony rides because she was obsessed with cowboy hats and riding horses. “We were hoping she’d make it to her birthday, but…” He trails off and shakes his head. “My marriage didn’t last much longer than that. My ex re-married—he has two boys. Healthy,” he adds, because he always feels like that matters.
Esther clears her throat. “My son… Why did you two…?”
“I can’t really say,” he answers her. “I saw him at a charity car wash looking so determined to earn his trip to Greece and…and I walked away at first, but I think I knew right then he would be the love of my life.”
She turns, and he swears he sees her wipe her eyes, but when she looks back, her eyes are dry. “You hurt him.”
He nods.
“Don’t do that again.”
It’s not a promise he can keep because he’s been alive too long to know that’s impossible. But what he can do is promise to love Avery with his dying breath, so that’s what he says. “He’ll always know, too,” he finishes. “He’ll always know that this isn’t just some passing fling. He saved me.”
“That’s a lot of pressure to put on him,” she warns, and Alejandro knows that too, but there’s something about Avery that isn’t like other people.
He thinks there will probably be rough years, and he knows that Avery might walk away from him one day before it’s meant to be over. But something tells him to keep the sort of faith he hasn’t had in years.
They eat dinner after that, and he thinks Esther told her husband about Gabrielle because the glares have softened, and no one says anything when Avery reaches over and takes his hand. The mood is somber, but it feels strangely appropriate, and he doesn’t hesitate to follow Avery into the sitting room when it’s all done.
They’re alone, and outside is dark, but Alejandro can see snow falling in the light of the chanukiah that’s burning a lot longer than the one Avery left at his penthouse.
“Want to go look at the snow?” Avery asks.
Alejandro nods, and he lets Avery drag him out the