Heartbeat Repeating - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,80
knew that I had squandered an entire year on the shadow of what we could be to each other because I was afraid. And it forced me to realize how I’ve made my ex suffer for almost a decade because I was too afraid to let go of my grief.”
Avery swallows thickly as the words wash over him, and he says nothing, waiting.
“I asked him to call me the night before we went skating because the first thing I needed,” Alejandro’s voice drops a little, “was to tell him that I was sorry. I needed that closure—I needed him to know I was through punishing all of us for something we couldn’t control.”
Avery closes his eyes and leans into the hand holding his face. “You said…”
“That I loved him,” he fills in, “and I meant it. That won’t change, but you missed the part where I told him that I understood the way he feels about his husband, because I feel it with you.”
“Oh.” The word breathes out of Avery’s chest like he can’t help it, and suddenly he’s afraid because this fuck up is most definitely his fault.
“I should have told you first,” Alejandro says, and Avery starts to shake his head, but Alejandro’s hold on him stops the motion. “You deserved to know first, but I’m not…I’m not good at this, Avery. I’ve never been good at this. And it didn’t matter before, because none of those people in my past were you. But it matters now.”
Avery licks his lips. “Why are you here?” he asks again. He needs to hear it.
“To beg you to come home.” Alejandro says the words like they’re the simplest thing in the world, like they’re the only thing in the world. “To tell you that I want to start fresh with nothing between us. If you want the money…”
“I don’t care about the money,” Avery all but sobs. His hands are open now, scrabbling to pull Alejandro close. He’s unmovable, but Avery can feel his warm skin under his shirt, and he holds tight.
“You’re worth more than dollar signs,” Alejandro says after a beat. “No amount of money will ever equal the worth of your touch, of your kiss.” He leans in, and his lips brush against Avery’s jaw. “I would trade very red cent I have ever earned to know that we’ll wake up together every morning and go to bed together every night. I would have never fought before—I would have let everyone else go.” He pulls back, just enough so their noses brush together, and he nuzzles. “But you have never been everyone else.”
Avery kisses him then. He can’t help it, couldn’t stop, even if God Himself appeared on earth and ordered him to let Alejandro go. His arms go around him, and he’s lifted up with a thigh between his legs, and suddenly there’s no space between them at all. He’s kissing him, and Avery’s sobbing through it, though there aren’t really tears this time. There’s just this thick, heavy emotion in his chest that needs to come out, otherwise he’s actually going to explode.
His hands fumble behind him to make sure the door’s locked. Alejandro seems to know the second it’s safe because he hauls Avery up properly and spins, and suddenly he’s on the bed. Alejandro is devouring him after that. His lips are pliant and his teeth sharp. He’s nipping at his neck, and he’s tugging at his shirt and fumbling with his jeans until suddenly Avery’s cock is out there in the open.
It’s half hard, and he thinks it probably has been since the moment Alejandro set foot in his room, but it stiffens completely under the warm strokes of his lover’s clever, clever hand. “Ah, look at you,” Alejandro says. He lifts Avery’s shirt all the way and drags a tongue around his nipple then bites down. His teeth clink gently on the metal, and he lets go only to push his tongue into Avery’s mouth and taste every inch of it.
Avery’s squirming beneath him, and his hands are still shaking as he manages to get Alejandro’s dick out. He shifts so it presses against his own, and his hand doesn’t quite fit around them both, but it makes enough of a half circle so they can thrust against each other.
Alejandro swallows down every single one of his punched-out moans, offering his own for Avery to taste, and they’re exquisite. He feels them rippling through his chest as his orgasm builds, and something