Heartbeat Repeating - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,69
wants Alejandro to hurry the fuck up with whatever he’s doing because God, he needs a hug or something.
Moving to the shelves, he steps back and stares again at the evidence that Avery has meant something this entire time. The first gift he’s ever gotten him is there next to the last, nestled in a little row as proof that he had always meant something to the older man. He drags his finger over the orca again then steps to the side, and his gaze lands on the only photo Alejandro has in his bedroom.
They’re his parents—they have to be, with how stark the family resemblance is. He mostly looks like his dad whose only real difference is the extra wrinkles by his eyes and the fact that his hair is an iron grey all over. Alejandro and the man who has to be Connor are squeezed between them. When he was looking around Alejandro’s reading room, Avery had been afraid to look closer at the man who Alejandro had once loved, but he doesn’t hold back now. His eyes take in every detail, even if it hurts a bit.
And of course, Connor’s painfully good looking, but that’s not really a surprise since Alejandro is one of the most beautiful men Avery has ever seen. He’s also taller than Alejandro by at least an inch, his hair a light brown, eyes soft blue. His skin is pale, with spots of freckles over his button nose, his lips are thin, but they tilt up into a natural smile. His beauty is effortless. He leans into Alejandro’s arms like he’ll always belong there, and Alejandro looks like he’s never had a bad day in his life.
It makes Avery ache, because he knows he’ll never get to meet this version of the man he loves. The man unburdened with the worst life could possibly offer. He’ll never get those easy smiles. Every single grin will be hard fought and dragged out, and while they’ll always be a triumph, he knows what it’ll cost them both.
It’s worth it though, he thinks. He knows it is. But a small part of him will always envy those who got the Alejandro from before—where love wasn’t such a war. When he wasn’t so afraid.
Avery drags his fingertip over the image of the man he’s so in love with, then he steps back. “Something needs to give,” he says aloud then glances over his shoulder just in case—but the space by the door is still empty.
He’s in love—but he’s known that for a while. That’s not a revelation. Alejandro might feel something for him too—and that’s more of a shock than anything. The last twenty-four hours have been a whirlwind, and it’s starting to settle, but it still seems a little bit unreal.
He can’t shake the feeling that something isn’t right, though, and it doesn’t take him long to realize exactly what it is. It’s the goddamn contract. It’s the fact that no matter how deeply they fall in love, how much they’ve come to mean to each other, he’s still a bought man.
And he likes the money. Of course he likes the money. He likes the security that comes with knowing he’ll never have to worry about finances or where his tuition is going to come from. He enjoys eating richly and knowing all his bills are paid, but he’d give it all up for Alejandro. He’d risk everything he’s ever earned to know that this thing between them doesn’t need a signed piece of paper to hold it all together.
He feels wild, suddenly, and reckless. He wants to see the contract thrown into the fire—along with all the evidence that it ever existed. He wants to destroy the chance that he could wake up in the morning, a million dollars richer, but having lost the love of his life for it. He wants to wake up with a warm body against him and promises pressed into sunrise kisses that don’t need signatures to prove that this is going to last.
I have to tell him, he thinks as he stands. Alejandro has been in his office forever. The call has to be nearly done by now. He’s going to make a gesture, he decides. He’s going to wait by the door, and the moment Alejandro’s voice goes quiet, Avery’s going to fill the space with words that have meaning. With I love you and I’ll never leave.
He hesitates only once in the doorway, a shadow at his