Heartbeat Repeating - E.M. Lindsey Page 0,46

again, crowding right into Avery’s space. “You’re going to stay with me.”

Avery blinks, because that was not what was supposed to happen. He was supposed to get money, and a kiss-off, and a box of memories and a lot of shit he’ll probably sell because he doesn’t ever use them. And that’s all fine, because he doesn’t want to remember Alejandro through watches and jackets and shoes.

But Alejandro’s changing things again, and Avery doesn’t know what the fuck it’s supposed to mean, or what he’s supposed to say. “I…”

“Did you change your mind?” Alejandro asks after a beat. “Are you going home?”

“What? No.” He licks his lips again and shakes his head. “No, but…”

“Do you not want to stay at mine?”

And fuck that. Of course he wants to stay there. If he was given a choice, he’d never leave. “It isn’t that. I just don’t want you to feel obligated because you think I’m pathetic.”

Alejandro closes his eyes in a long, slow blink. “I’m your sugar daddy, Avery. I am obligated. But that doesn’t make you pathetic. It makes you…” he chokes on the word then clears his throat, “mine. It makes you mine, for the time being. It has been my job to put myself second and you first, and I haven’t done that.”

He wants to feel insulted, like he’s a kid or a fucking pet. But there’s something in Alejandro’s tone that tells Avery there’s more to this request than just taking care of him. He can tell that this is something Alejandro needs too.

“I mean, I’m not going to bitch about staying in a multi-million-dollar penthouse,” he finally says, and he almost feels the way the tension in the room snaps.

Alejandro’s mouth softens, and he juts his chin at the door. “Then stop arguing with me. Go sit down and keep pressure on that. Or I’m taking you to hospital for stitches.”

Avery groans, but he marches out like a scolded child, and he has half a mind to ask Alejandro if he’ll get spanked for disobeying just to watch him choke on his tongue. It would be worth it—pay back for all this. There’s no way that Alejandro doesn’t know how badly he’s flipped Avery’s world upside down. And yet, in this moment, there’s no way he’s turning it down.

11

Feeling Like Home

This is a mistake. This is a bloody stupid mistake, he thinks to himself as he sits in the back of his car with Avery a scant few inches away. He quietly thanks himself for taking his driver instead of his own car because there’s no way in hell he can concentrate well enough to get them back in one piece.

He spent the last twenty-four hours composing text after text trying to tell Avery that it was over—that it was for his own good, but everything fell flat and sounded wrong. And all he could think about was Avery sitting in his little flat, entirely alone, just waiting for Alejandro to need him.

Not just this year, but the year before.

He was such a fucking bastard.

So, he can do this. He can give him some kindness and some attention. And it won’t come close to making up where he’s failed but at least it’s something. He’s soothing himself more than Avery, he knows that, but he doesn’t think he can live without some measure of peace between them before it’s all over.

Just a taste, he thinks. Just a taste, for just this week, and then I can let go.

He wants to reach over and take Avery’s hand or, at the very least, hold him by the chin so he can get a good look at the cut on his head that’s finally stopped bleeding. He can still feel the ache in his chest at how hard his heart was beating when he thought Avery had been hurt by someone. And he knows what that implies, but he crushes it down into a small box and shoves it into the black void deep inside himself where all his feelings are forced to live.

He says nothing, does nothing, keeps his gaze out the window until they pull up to his penthouse. He’s a goddamn gentleman though, so he gets Avery’s case before the younger man can reach for it, and he leads the way with marching steps. He nods at Casey who’s operating the lift during the night shift, and he stands a foot apart from Avery who shifts uncomfortably in the silence.

He thinks he should say something—make this