Heart of Vengeance (Alice Worth #6) - Lisa Edmonds Page 0,26
motivations grew more…personal. I came to realize that in your presence, I am human again. I laugh. I feel sorrow, and hope, and curiosity, and protectiveness.”
He took a step closer, despite Sean’s warning growl. “Alice, I love you. I did not think myself capable of love after the loss of my wife, but I have found it again with you. What I did, I did for your sake. I can protect you from your enemies, far better than the wolf. I can ensure you will have a long and happy life, free from your past. You will want for nothing. I promise only truth between us from this moment forward. I ask nothing of you in return, not even your power or your body, unless you choose to share them with me. Stay with me, so I continue to feel as though I am human. I wish to learn to be a better man, so I may be more worthy of you.”
“Did you know Darius Bell and Moses Murphy had teamed up to draw me out?” I asked. “Did you deliberately feed me fabricated intel about the weapons deal Murphy was in town for, so I’d go out to his house and walk into the trap?”
He didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
I could have asked him about a dozen other incidents, but I wasn’t sure any of the answers would matter, really. Would it change how I felt to know he’d allowed me to be almost killed by the bomb that destroyed Hawthorne’s, or to be shot by Kent Stevens, or nearly seduced by Niara? No, it wouldn’t.
I’d listened to his speech with my senses tuned to detect the slightest hint of influence and watched closely and listened for any indication of deception. Every word he’d said sounded and felt true. I didn’t feel any push to believe him or that he’d tried to sway me in any way. And yet…
…And yet, I didn’t believe him. Or maybe I did, but that didn’t change anything.
Something died inside me in that moment. I didn’t know what it was, exactly, but it was a physical sensation of intense, painful loss. Maybe it was the last of my hope that Charles wasn’t the lying bastard Sean had always said he was.
When I finally accepted the true scope of Charles’s campaign to influence me, it called into question nearly every action I’d taken, every word I’d spoken, every choice I’d made for almost the entire time I’d been in the city. How much of my life had been of my own free will, and how much was influenced by Charles?
It really didn’t matter, I decided. What was past was past. I could choose to let this kick my feet out from under me, or I could find a way to let it go. If I didn’t, Charles would still be influencing me—only this time, it would be by my own choice. He’d already taken up far too much real estate in my head.
There was no sense prolonging this conversation. I’d sat in silence for at least a full minute already, while Sean and Charles watched me and waited.
I slid off the barstool and stood. “It’s not my responsibility to make you feel human, Charles, or teach you how to be a better man. Don’t put the burden for either of those things on me. Those are choices you have to make. And clearly my presence hasn’t made you feel all that human if you see nothing wrong with what you’ve done to me.”
His face was impassive. “I did not say I was not wrong to do it.”
“You knew it was wrong, but you did it anyway because you believed the ends justified the means.”
“Have you not done the same on many occasions?” he countered. “What would you not do for love, Alice?”
“I’ve done a lot of things for love, but one thing I would never do—would never even consider doing—is make someone my slave or steal their free will. I told you that months ago, when you tried to blackmail me into working for the Court. I put on that cuff to free Sean from his, went into debt with Valas, and died to free us both rather than bind him to me without his consent. That’s how deeply I believe love and partnership mean nothing if they aren’t freely given, or if they’re coerced in any way.”
Sean’s expression told me he wanted nothing more in the world right now than to touch my hand or put