Heart of Fire (Blood of Zeus #2) - Meredith Wild Page 0,51

know why.

“Is this really about Gramps?”

She shakes her head, avoiding my eyes.

“Kell—” But my determination is for naught. I hesitate, afraid to say what’s in my mind and heart. But I have to, otherwise we may not get to the other side of whatever this strange new tension is.

“Is this about Arden?” My tone is softer because I don’t want it to sound like an accusation.

Her silence confirms, though, that it’s likely the truth.

“Where is he?” I ask. “I thought he might be here with you tonight.”

“No.” Her pretty red lips remain pursed and pissed. “He has other matters to attend to.”

I don’t linger long on the thought. But those two seconds lend ample opportunity to picture Arden’s “other matters” involving a certain meeting that Hades is taking right now. What will Maximus do if Arden is a leering fly on the wall during Z’s negotiations?

I can’t let it be my concern right now. I have to trust Maximus and the self-control that’s like second nature to him. I have to stay sane right now—to help my sister as much as myself.

“You should be happy you didn’t have to spend all night with him.”

She grabs a newly filled flute off a passing tray but only grimaces at the bubbles. “So I should be happy that he doesn’t want to be seen with me in public because he still thinks he has a chance with you?”

Only then does she meet my gaze. My jaw unhinges again, as I process the scalding lash of her jealousy—followed by a terrible new concern.

Arden really hasn’t given up on having me.

“He didn’t say that.” It’s a hopeful affirmation but also a desperate question. I pray she’s just jumping to conclusions. That he hasn’t actually said this…

“No.” She purses her lips again. “But you know, I could smell it. Disappointment has a very distinct odor.”

I exhale a harsh breath. “Kell. I’m so sorry. I did this to us… I did this to you, and I can’t undo any of it.”

“And even if you had another chance, you’d choose the same way.” She levels a hard stare at me because she already knows it’s the truth.

And so do I. Maybe it’s the demon in me, but I know deep in my selfish heart that I would choose Maximus again and again, even understanding that I’d be damning Kell. Maybe it’s because I know he’d choose me too. Likelier, it’s because I knew that she was as damned as me all along, no matter what. Could Arden be better than the incubus she was destined for? Could he be worse?

We’ll never know. And that’s entirely my fault. And my soul is an aching, exposed wound because of it.

“Kell, I don’t know the right words to say…” I gulp back a sob, and it feels like a million razor blades in my throat. “I fell in love, and no one expected it less than me. But love can make people selfish, and I admit that I have been.”

She nods and pretends to be studying her nails. “Maybe one day I’ll know what that feels like.”

Her lips soften, and she lets go of a breath. Those little shifts take some sting out of her words.

“Will you ever forgive me?”

She laughs quietly. “A demon asking for forgiveness. That’s funny.”

“I don’t know about you, but I think we’re more than what’s in our blood.”

She looks up at me again. “Says the girl who’s breaking all the rules and apologizing for it later.”

I sigh. “Kell…”

She shakes her head. “It’s fine, Kara. Just… It’s fine.”

It’s not fine, but I have no way to make things right, so I let it go just like my daunting vision of Arden and Maximus.

Damn it. Every passing moment feels like a slog right now. A mire of meanings deeper than the Inferno’s nine levels, filled with just as many spirits to hurt for…and sins to atone for. But I have to just accept it as the place we’re in. For now, but hopefully not forever…

Every minute of the party seems to drag after that, and I’m relieved when Gramps is ready to go. He’s tired and a little buzzed, and his happiness manages to eat away at my own melancholy, which I try hard to hide during the drive home.

When the limo driver drops him off at the Valari estate, we part ways with a hug and a promise to visit soon. I laugh when he slaps Dalton on the arm, coaxing a curious smile out of the