How am I going to kill if I can't even look at someone dead?
He's right. He was trying to protect me.
I rise and wash my hands, rinse out my mouth, and splash water on my face. I put my hands on the counter and stare at both of us in the mirror.
Dirk's eyes lock into mine. "You okay?"
Tears fall. "I'm too weak to kill, too, aren't I?"
He spins me in his arms. In my hair, he says, "No, my Little Diva. I never said anything of the sort. But I don't want you to have to deal with it."
"I'm never going to be able to protect myself."
He squeezes his arms tighter. "You will. I shouldn't have said what I did earlier. I was trying to find the words. I don't want to think about anyone touching you or harming you in any way. And if anyone tries, I want to be the one to protect you. But I will teach you, so you feel confident."
"You will?"
"Yes. And I'm sorry I'm screwing all this up so badly. I didn't think before I spoke earlier."
I glance up. "You aren't. I'm the one who's..."
"Who's what?"
"Tinker!" a familiar voice calls out.
Dirk releases me and peeks his head out the door but keeps it blocked, so I can't see anything. "Axel. Everyone is fine. Zoe got sick. Hey, Penelope."
"Is Zoe okay?" she asks.
"I'm fine," I call out.
"Throw a blanket over the bodies, Axel." Dirk strokes my cheek.
"Done," Axel calls.
Even though the bodies are covered, Dirk stays between them and me and escorts me to the kitchen. Penelope and Axel follow.
"What happened?" Axel asks.
"Don't know all the details, but when we got here, two guys held Andre at gunpoint. He said Naomi's ex is with the Colombian cartel and took her."
"What?" Penelope covers her mouth.
"Andre went after him?" Axel asks.
"Yeah," Dirk replies.
Axel turns to Penelope. "He'll get her."
"Ladies, you stay here. We've got some cleaning to do." Dirk pats Axel on the back, and they leave.
Penelope and I hug. "I'm so happy you're okay," I tell her.
We exchange stories about the last few days, and Tinker arrives. We barely get introduced before he and Axel leave to dispose of the bodies. Dirk stays to clean the floors.
"Do you want help?" I ask.
He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. "Thanks, but I've got this. Just relax."
"Ummm...would Tinker mind if I looked through his fridge and cupboards to make something for dinner?"
He smiles. "Nope. Go right ahead." He winks then collects a few cleaning supplies and leaves the kitchen.
Penelope crosses her arms and sits back in her chair.
I suddenly feel nervous. "What?"
"You two getting along okay?"
I'm not sure why I try to hide my feelings for Dirk. Maybe it's because I'm not sure where we stand or if anything has changed since this morning. I guess it's more of my self-preservation. "When he isn't an ass."
"Is that often?"
I almost say yes but pause.
Stop talking bad about him. He doesn't deserve anything but kind words after all he's done to help you.
"No. He's actually a great guy."
"I see. And what does he think about you?"
"We're just friends."
"Sure. And the Pope isn't Catholic."
Heat rises in my face, but I attempt to convince her again. "We are." I should stop there, but my mouth becomes a loose cannon. "Dirk's very kind and respectful. And he's really good at using weapons. He's smart too and can speak both Spanish and English, which is helpful. Oh, and he knows how to spice things up to cover up the bad taste and makes me drinks for my voice. During his free time, he likes to do outdoorsy stuff like mountain climb, which is why he bought his house in Spain. And..." I stop when I notice Penelope's amused look on her face and realize I'm blabbing about everything Dirk.
At least I didn't tell her about his panty-melting kisses or the hot sex we had in the river.
Or how he won't be with me anymore.
Sadness fills me again.
"Zoe, you okay?"
I force a smile. "Yeah. So what is Axel like?"
Her eyes brighten, and she blushes. "He's—"
There's a noise in the other room, and Naomi walks in the kitchen. Penelope and I jump up and hug her. We both ask, "Are you okay?"
She is shaken but says she's okay and that Andre is helping Dirk clean the floor. Then she fills us in on what happened to her.