washes away, it shines even with scars, and becomes much brighter."
She blinks hard, takes a deep breath, then looks forward.
I kiss her head again and continue to Omoa, wondering how I’m going to ever get her to see that even with her scars, she’s still the brightest, most exquisite woman alive.
16
Zoe
Waves morph from choppy to barely anything then rough again. By the time we get to Omoa, I'm ready to get off the boat. All day, my emotions get the best of me. I feel rejected from last night and this morning. I'm mad at myself for ever telling Dirk about my addiction and what the Global Leaders did to me. Several times during the day, I work really hard not to cry.
When he talks to me, he says things I want to believe. He gives me the hope that maybe he could get past it, and we could be together. And his words cut through my soul and confuse me further. They sound like things a man who wants me as his would say.
But he doesn't.
He can't bear the thought to touch me again. At least, not anything more than a supportive embrace or in public gesture. He proved it last night and this morning. No matter how nice or sincere he is, it only aggravates me further.
The ache I have for him only deepens throughout the day. It spreads its wings and takes over until I cannot think of anything except how he isn't going to ever touch me again.
I catch him looking at me with his worried expression, too many times to count. It only causes more pain. I know he cares about me. I know he's attracted to me. But I ruined any chance I could ever have with him by telling him the truth.
Rescuing the dolphin made me feel like I contributed something useful to the world. Something I haven't felt in a long time. And when I saw the dolphin covered in trash, it seemed like a parallel to my life.
Garbage. The most influential people on the planet surrounded me, suffocating me in their filth. And even though I'm away from them, it's still visible.
I can see it.
Dirk can see it.
As the day progresses, I try to engage when possible, but every word I utter creates an opening for me to break down, so I attempt to turn the conversation off whenever possible.
When we get to Omoa, Dirk finds a marina to dock at. We tie up the boat and stroll toward the restaurant. He pulls me aside. "We need a phone book, so I can look up Tinker's address and a map."
"Let's go in and ask if they have one."
"Someone might recognize you. We need to be careful."
"I'll stay outside then."
"No. I'm not leaving you out here."
"It's only for a few minutes. I'll be fine."
"Drop it. It isn't happening."
Anger that he doesn't want me but thinks he can control me seep through my bones. "Stop telling me what to do. I'm a grown woman."
"I'm well aware." A group of people walks out of the restaurant, and Dirk moves me over further. "Stop being stubborn."
"Can we get whatever it is we need and move on with our lives?"
A look I can't interpret crosses his face. He clenches his jaw.
Silence.
"What did I say now?"
He slowly nods and quietly replies, "I'll do the talking. You keep your glasses and hat on. Don't look at anyone. Keep your gaze to the floor if possible."
"Fine."
We go inside, find a phone book, and lookup Tinker's address. Dirk buys a map that is in the gift shop. When we get back outside, he leads me to the parking lot.
There is a row of scooters. Several have the keys in them.
"Red or white?" Dirk asks.
"Red."
"Way to be incognito."
"Fine, white," I snap.
"I was teasing."
I take a deep breath. "Sorry."
He sits on the red scooter, pats the back for me to get on behind him, and turns it on. I hold onto his waist tight, and we go several blocks before he veers into another parking lot.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
He rises, removes the helmet that's hanging on the handle, and puts it over my head, then buckles the chin strap.
"What are you going to wear?"
"There's only one. But I forgot to give you something."
"What?"
He leans down and kisses me. It's not deep. It's not long. Regardless, it sets me on fire like anytime his lips touch me and leaves me wanting more.