Haze - By Andrea Wolfe Page 0,102

the only thing I really cared about in that moment. I needed to make a plan for myself, a getaway from the mess I was in. I grabbed my laptop and opened up a new blank text document.

Goals for tomorrow:

1. Sort out finances.

2. Fix phone.

3. Update resume.

4. Check classifieds and job websites.

Jack?

I typed that last bit without a number, a quiet acceptance that Jack might actually have an unstructured solution for me. Whether I ever looked at the document again or not, it felt good to type everything out. I didn't want to deal with this tonight, I just couldn't.

Tomorrow, however, was a different story.

Out of nowhere, I realized I needed to eat, and fast. Even though I was on a budget, I decided to grab cheap Chinese food, just for tonight. Even though I had nothing to do, making something in the kitchen and having the scrub dishes sounded like the furthest thing from soothing.

After a quick trip to the nearest restaurant to grab my take-out—my budget definitely wasn't about to include delivery charges—I met Jesse in the kitchen.

"Effie, how are ya?" he asked. He was alone, his backpack slung over his shoulder. It was obvious he had just arrived.

"I'm fine, Jesse," I said, lying through my teeth."

"You don't look fine," he said sympathetically. "Is something wrong?" I didn't know if I should tell him what happened or not.

No, I wasn't ready yet.

"I feel a little tired and sick. I didn't sleep that well last night." I threw my take-out bag on the table like it weighed a hundred pounds and I needed relief.

He gave me a disappointed look. "That sucks. I've got to catch up on some work though. Try to feel better, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Jesse appeared to be mildly distressed by the fact that he couldn't stay here and talk to me due to his workload. I, on the other hand, was perfectly okay with the situation. I wasn't ready to tell him, not until I gave it some more thought.

Yeah, sorry, Jesse. I can't pay rent this month because I got fired because I didn't take your advice. Now we'll both get kicked out of the apartment!

No, I wasn't about to do that.

I shared my lonely meal with no one, washing it down with lemon-flavored sparkling water that I desperately wished was a cocktail. I wasn't sure why I wasn't permitting myself to drink, because temporary escape sure felt like a good idea.

It was so hard not to think about what had happened, especially because I kept telling myself not to think about it. Telling yourself not to think about something was definitely the best way to ensure that you actually did think about it. Think about it way too much. Brains could be so cruel.

After starting to feel nauseous as I replayed that cruel event from today in my mind, I realized that I needed to drop it. I put on Netflix and put on the first movie that showed up in my recommended section, not even looking at the title.

Thank God that Jesse would leave before me in the morning so I wouldn't have to maintain some dumb charade where I snuck out ahead of him to pretend that I still had a job.

Before I fell asleep, I thought about how much I wished Jack were here, even though I wasn't totally over the blaming him phase of my grief. I debated trying to call him on my mangled piece of technology, but I let the thought go.

Tomorrow, I thought. Everything good is tomorrow.

Chapter 19

"You want four-fucking-hundred dollars to repair my phone?"

Tomorrow was definitely not good.

I was at the cell phone store, trying my damndest not to give myself a heart attack. Well, at least if I had a heart attack and died, I'd get out of paying my student loans. Hmm...

"Ma'am, you didn't pay for the accidental coverage and the parts are still expensive for this model." The clerk was timid and mechanical, obviously someone who was just reciting company policy and barely listening to me.

"You fucking piece of—" I was mad at everything again, but I stopped myself abruptly. "I just don't get it." I rested my hands on the counter, took a deep breath, and stabilized myself. This guy was a mere retail peasant, probably just doing his job so he could pay for college.

Shit, I might end up like this...

Waking up had been peaceful—well, until I remembered I didn't have a job or any real plan at all. The coffee