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moving very, very slowly I allow myself to look up and around again. The train judders and jolts as it shunts out of the station and I cautiously pull myself up using the back of the seat in front of me for support. The newly arrived passenger is sitting halfway down the carriage on the other side of the aisle. He looks like he's deliberately put as much distance between me and the third passenger as he can. Thank God.

I press my head against the window and watch the familiar sights and landmarks rush by. It all looks the same but everything feels different this afternoon.

Not far now. Almost home.

Chapter Seventeen

No more bullshit. It's just gone nine and the kids are finally in bed. Now we can drop the pretence. Now we can forget the happy voices and the smiles and laughs we've put on just for their sake. Now Liz and I can sit down together and try and get our heads around what's going on here. There's no point involving the children in any of this. What good would it do? If we can't work it out, what chance have they got? Better that they remain ignorant and happy. Ed's starting to suspect something's wrong but the little two are blissfully unaware. I wish I was.

We've been sat watching the headlines go round on a loop for about twenty minutes.

'This is different tonight,' she says. 'It's changed.'

'What's changed?'

'The news. They've stopped telling us what's happened. You keep watching and you'll see what I mean. All they're doing now is trying to tell us how to deal with things.'

She's right. There's been a definite shift in the focus of the TV news channel we're watching tonight and I hadn't picked up on it until Liz pointed it out. Until now there's been a steady stream of reports about individual attacks and major incidents but all of that has now stopped. Now all that's been broadcast is little more than a series of instructions. They're not telling us anything we haven't already heard - stay away from people you don't know, stay at home if possible, watch out for erratic and irrational behaviour and alert the authorities if trouble breaks out, that sort of thing. It's all straightforward, common-sense stuff.

'Probably not worth wasting time reporting on everything that's happening,' she says. 'One fight in the street's pretty much the same as the next.'

'I know,' I agree. 'There's still something else missing though, isn't there?'

'Like what?'

'If you listen to what they're saying, they're still telling us that everything's under control and the problem's contained but...'

'But what?'

'But no-one's coming up with any explanations. No-one's even making any attempt to explain what's happening. That tells me they're either keeping something from us or...'

'No-one's managed to work it out yet,' she interrupts before I've had chance to finish my sentence.

Chapter Eighteen

It's dark. The house is silent. I'm tired but I can't sleep. It's almost two in the morning.

'You awake?' I ask quietly.

'Wide awake,' Lizzie answers.

I roll over onto my side and gently put my arm around her. She does the same and I pull her closer. It feels good to have her next to me like this. It's been too long.

'What are you going to do in the morning?' she asks. The side of her face is touching mine. I can feel her breath on my skin.

'Don't know,' I answer quickly. I want to stay at home but there's a part of me that still thinks I should go back to work. The longer I've laid here awake, the more I've slowly managed to convince myself that it will be safe to go back to the office tomorrow. Stupid bloody idiot. I watched people being shot in the middle of town today. There's no way I can go back there.

'Stay here,' she says quietly. 'Stay here with us. You should be here with me and the children.'

'I know, but...' I start to mumble.

'But nothing. We need you here. I need you here. I'm scared.'

I know she's right. I wrap my arms further around her and run my hand down the ridge of her spine. She's wearing a short nightdress. I put my hand underneath it and feel her back again. Her skin is soft and warm. I expect her to grumble and pull away from me like she usually does but she stays where she is. I can feel her hands on my skin now.

'Stay here with me,' she whispers again, slowly