Hate to Date You (Dating #4) - Monica Murphy Page 0,83

up.

I’m glancing over emails on my phone, pretending to care when all I can think about is downing that whiskey as soon as the drink comes, when Caroline finally says something. “I saw Stella earlier today.”

My heart drops. I keep my gaze fixed on my phone. “That’s nice,” I mumble.

Just hearing her name makes me miserable. I miss her so badly, it’s like I’ve lost a part of me. Swear to God, I thought at first I might be sick. I didn’t bother coming into work on Wednesday, though I dealt with Grace Ricci on the phone the entire afternoon.

That woman can text like no one’s business. She’s also a real fan of emojis.

“I know all about you two.” Caroline drops this little tidbit in the most bland voice ever, and I glance up to find my sister watching me carefully.

“What do you mean?” I’m weary. Not willing to admit anything until she tells me exactly what she knows.

“Oh, I know it all, Carter. I gleaned information on my own, and then Stella spilled her guts when I called her on it.” Caroline holds out her hand and starts counting. “I know about the one-night stand you guys had.” She raises a finger. “How you left her before she even woke up.” The next finger goes up. “How you two were mad at each other when you first moved in, but got over it pretty fast.” Another finger shoots up. “Then you two basically fell into a relationship without even realizing it, though now it’s over. Which is really unfortunate, if you ask me.”

“I blew it,” I say miserably, hanging my head, swallowing my pride. I’ve been holding my feelings in for days. And it feels so damn good to finally talk about it. “I told her how I felt. I came on too strong and scared her.”

“She thinks she blew it.” I jerk my head up at my sister’s words, gaping at her. “She thinks you hate her. That you never want to talk to her again.”

“That’s not true,” I say vehemently. “I was mad that night when she left my bedroom, but I was angrier at myself. Stella doesn’t like to be pushed. I know this, but I still did it. In fact, I shoved her into a mental corner with all my confessions and totally freaked her out. I saw it written all over her face.”

Caroline smiles. “You must really care about her.”

“I do.” I could fall in love with her. It would be so easy. Our relationship was already pretty easy, once we threw out all the expectations and worry. Once I apologized over and over, and we admitted our similar hang-ups.

Yeah, what Stella said to me that night hurt, but I understand her better than she thinks. In some ways, I’m just like her. Telling her how I felt was scary as hell, but I did it anyway. I was willing to take a chance on her, and I could see the panic in her eyes. I witnessed her becoming anxious right in front of me, and it kills me to know I did that to her.

Me. I hurt her. It’s all my fault.

“She cares about you too, you know,” Caroline says, reaching out to set her hand on top of mine where it rests on the table. “You should try and talk to her.”

“What do you mean?”

Before Caroline can answer, the server arrives with my drink and I grab it the moment she sets it on the table, draining half the contents in a couple of swallows. “Bring me another one, and make it a double,” I tell her just as she’s about to leave.

“Drowning yourself in alcohol isn’t going to make you feel any better,” my sister chastises once the server has walked away.

I finish off the whiskey and Coke, rattling the ice in the glass when it’s gone. “It’s already working.”

An aggravated sigh leaves her as she leans forward, her gaze locking with mine. “You two need to meet. Maybe at the apartment. Or maybe in a neutral zone, somewhere public, and you need to hash it out.”

“Hash what out?”

The server reappears with a fresh, much taller glass and I take it from her with a grateful smile.

“Your relationship. How you feel about each other. You need to take it slow with Stella. Don’t be so pushy,” Caroline says.

“I wasn’t pushy—” I start, but Caroline silences me with a look.

“I’m sure you were a little bit, and sometimes Stella needs that push.