Hate to Date You (Dating #4) - Monica Murphy Page 0,78

and I contemplate what to do next.

Screw it.

I climb off the bed and find myself now standing in his open doorway, watching as he strips his clothes off. “That’s it?” I ask. “That’s all you have to say to me?”

His entire body seems to sag, especially those broad shoulders of his. “What do you want me to say, huh? Do you want me to beg and plead with you? Convince you that we could actually be something?”

Well…yes. I sort of expected that.

“Or would you rather argue about it? Get into a screaming match?” He shrugs out of his shirt, his movements jerky, and I can’t help but notice all those delicious muscles in his back, rippling with his every move. Even sad and angry, I can feel my body growing warmer with arousal.

“I don’t want to argue with you, Carter,” I admit quietly.

“Good. I don’t want to argue with you either, Stel. But I don’t know how to convince you that we could make this work either. You’ve already stated how you feel, so let’s leave it at that.” He doesn’t ask me to leave or to turn away as he tears off his belt and undoes the snap and zipper on his pants. Next thing I know, he’s standing in front of me in just his boxer briefs—navy blue and clinging to him in all the right places.

God, I can’t think like that. Not now, when he’s glaring at me and most likely cursing me in his head. Not that I can blame him.

Could I tell him I didn’t mean it? Not in good consciousness, because truthfully? I’m not sure. I never wanted to get my hopes up and believe what Carter and I were doing could turn into something real. It was fun. I like him a lot. And it definitely felt real. But was it?

Probably not.

“I’m moving out tomorrow,” he says as walks over to the closet, yanks a T-shirt off the hanger and shrugs it on. “After work.”

My mouth drops open. “You’re moving? Where?”

He nods, his jaw like granite. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll be out of your hair. I’m sure that’ll make things easier for you.”

“Carter.” Without thought, I go to him. Rest my hands on his chest, right where I can feel his beating heart against my palms. It’s going at a rapid rate, and I know I’m affecting him right now. I can see it in his eyes, in the tightness around his mouth, how his nostrils flare. “I’m—I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to react like that in front of my grandmother.”

“You don’t have to apologize. You were just being honest.”

I blink at him, surprised by his answer.

“You’re right. What we have, it’s temporary,” he continues. “We were just having fun. Friends—roomies—with benefits. That’s what you wanted, right? Or did you want something more serious? Because I’ve been thinking lately, and what we’ve been doing felt a lot more like serious to me.”

His words fill me with panic, and it must show on my face because an irritated noise leaves him.

“You have to understand,” I start, my fingers clutching at the fabric of his shirt. “This is all so new to me, and I’m not used to this sort of thing.”

“So you’d rather keep this on the down low? A couple of secret fuck sessions between roommates?”

I flinch, not sure what to say next. Knowing that pretty much everything I could say will only upset him anyway.

I’m in a no-win situation.

“That’s not what I want either. I’m just—not ready to make that commitment yet,” I admit, my voice so soft, I can barely hear myself.

“Sure.” He looks away, his jaw working, his eyes narrowed, and I let go of him, knowing I don’t have the right to freely touch him anymore. “You’re never going to be ready to make that commitment, Stel. You know this, right?”

“That’s not true—”

He cuts me off. “I feel stupid. And I never feel stupid. I’m always the one who’s in control of my so-called relationships. Don’t get too close, that way you can’t get hurt.” His gaze meets mine, and seeing all the pain and anger swirling in the blue depths takes my breath away. “You tore down my walls and I let you in. I truly thought we were ready to take this to the next level.”

I’m so close to crying, but I have to keep myself in check. “It was good while it lasted, right?”

He laughs, but there’s no humor in the sound. “I knew you’d say