Hardwood - K.M. Neuhold Page 0,86
her.
“Good.” She nods solemnly. “And once you two patch things up, I want to meet him properly. We can have a big family dinner, all five of us.”
“Sounds great,” I agree.
I pull out my phone, desperately wanting to text Watson to tell him I finally did it and that Val is looking forward to meeting him. But I resist. It’s not time yet, I need to come out to the guys and get a few things in order so I can show him how in this I really am. He deserves that much.
Watson
I’m lying on my back with Fermata sniffing around on my chest. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve reached for my phone to call or text Ev and then put it back down without reaching out to him. I told myself not to fall in love with him, and I stupidly ignored my own advice. Now I need to get through the detox phase so I can get over him. And I can’t detox if I talk to him.
“I should’ve listened to myself in the first place and steered clear,” I tell the hedgehog. “On the other hand, maybe I’m expecting too much, putting too much pressure on him,” I reason, and Fermata unhelpfully refuses to voice an opinion on the matter. “A lot of help you are.”
My front door swings open, and Fermata squeaks and then hisses before curling up into a protective ball of spikes.
“Dude, you scared my hedgehog,” I complain as Jordy strides into my apartment without invitation.
“You haven’t been answering any of my texts. I thought you were dead.”
I roll my eyes. “You did not think I was dead.”
“Fine, I didn’t,” he agrees. “But I figured if you were avoiding your phone, it meant things with Ev went south.”
“Either you’re psychic or my relationship cycle is pathetically predictable.”
He kicks off his shoes and flops down on the couch a few feet away, putting his feet up on the coffee table. “So, what happened?”
“Nothing happened, it ran its course,” I answer.
“Bullshit. You’re in love with him.”
“Love is a fool’s errand,” I sigh.
“Why do you always become so emo after a breakup?” he teases.
“I can’t be emo, I’m forty,” I argue.
“You would think,” he deadpans. “Are you going to tell me what happened, or should I put on Les Mis and order some sushi to comfort you?”
“Sushi and Les Mis are always the right answer.” I scoop up Fermata and carefully place him on the floor so I can sit up. “And nothing really happened except that I realized I’m in love with him, and he isn’t in a place to commit to me, so I thought it was better to take a break for now.”
“Ouch,” he says sympathetically.
“Pretty much,” I agree. “But I knew going in that this was going to happen. I’m not an idiot; no one stays with the first person they kiss.”
“Except, Ev kind of does,” he points out.
“What are you talking about?”
“His ex-wife,” Jordy reminds me. “Weren’t they teenage sweethearts? He made it seem like he would’ve happily stayed married to her if he hadn’t realized he was gay. He’s not exactly a commitment-phobe.”
“Fine, then I guess he just isn’t in love with me,” I concede, the heavy weight in my chest getting worse.
“Come on.” He pats the couch cushion next to him. “Best friend cuddle session.”
I smile and make my way over to the couch. Best friend cuddles are something we started back in college the first time I had my heart broken, and it’s become a breakup tradition for both of us.
“What am I going to do with you all the way in California?” I complain. “Mia gives the worst cuddles ever.”
He puts an arm around me, using his free hand to place an order for sushi.
“You’ll have to get a dog, I guess,” he reasons.
“Or a kid,” I add, a small amount of hope shining through as I remember what the plan was before Ev came along and distracted me.
“If that’s really what you want.”
“You don’t think it is?” I ask.
“I think you want to be a foster parent,” he says. “I just don’t think you should rush to do it because you’re feeling lonely. Make sure you’re really ready for something that big.”
I nod, wiggling lower on the couch so I can put my head on his shoulder. Jordy squeezes his arm tighter around me, chasing away the heartbreak for a few minutes at least.
“Do you think I’m unlovable? Or my expectations are too high?”