Hardwood - K.M. Neuhold Page 0,52
me out for not telling them what I told him on the phone earlier.
To my relief, he doesn’t say anything. But he does eye me with suspicion.
“Does that mean you’ll come out with us this Friday?” Cole checks.
“I have Livi this week,” I remind him. And I was hoping to take Watson out the following Friday, but I suppose that could be rearranged to a different day. After all, I’d much rather our second date be sooner rather than later.
“Why don’t we do something at my place then,” Stone suggests. “We don’t have to go to the bar. That way you can bring Liv along, and she can play with the dogs.”
“Sure, that sounds fun.”
It’s getting a little cold for grilling weather, but this is Wisconsin, and until the first foot of snow falls, we keep the grills out. Ollie’s grill is on the small balcony off of his apartment. He leaves the door open as he goes in and out, getting a couple of racks of ribs on and letting the cold air fill the small space. There’s a hint of snow in the air, which reminds me to check the garage to make sure I have gas for the snowblower before winter really gets underway.
“Someone want to give me a quick hand out here?” Ollie asks.
I saunter over to help him out, closing the door behind me so it doesn’t get too cold inside. He holds the plate of meat out to me so I can hold it for him while he puts each piece onto the grill. He has limited space to set anything down and needs the extra hand to put his specialty sauce on each slab.
“Is it your ex?” he asks, glancing past me to make sure the other guys aren’t headed out.
“Is what my ex?”
“The person you’re seeing,” Ollie clarifies. “It seemed like you didn’t want them to know you’re dating anyone. If you decided to try to work things out with Val, we’ll support you. If you forgive her for the affair, that’s your call.”
“What?” I laugh at the absurdity of the idea. “No, it’s not Val.”
“Oh,” he says, visibly relaxing. “Why the cloak and dagger then?”
He puts the last piece of meat onto the grill and brushes it with sauce before closing the lid, meanwhile my heart thunders. A lie of omission is bad enough, but I can’t seem to make myself lie right to his face. Fuck, I really don’t want to lie right to his face. But Val…
“I’m gay,” I blurt.
Ollie’s eyebrows scrunch together for a fraction of a second as he processes my words, and then a grin spreads over his face.
“Are you serious?” he asks, and I nod. “Wait, why the big secret? You might not realize this, but we’re all gay.” He stage whispers the last part, and I chuckle, my whole body feeling exponentially lighter.
“I know, but I haven’t told Val yet. I’ve been working up the courage for about five years now,” I confess. “And it felt wrong to go around telling everyone except for her.”
“So, what, you’ve been dating men on the down low all this time and just never telling us?”
“No,” I answer quickly. “Watson is actually the first…”
Ollie’s eyes go wide. “Ever?”
I bob my head. “Pathetic, right?”
“No, I’m just…wow, I don’t even know what to say.”
“Could you do me a favor and not say anything?” I ask with an apologetic grimace. “I’m going to tell Val. I just need to figure out the right words.”
“I won’t say anything.”
“Thanks, man.” I clap him on the back, and we head inside where Stone and Cole are arguing over what is and isn’t safe to use as lube, which is a conversation I’m going to go ahead and steer clear of.
I feel downright giddy just knowing there’s one less person in the world I have to lie to. And if it can feel this good to tell one person, it’ll have to feel amazing to tell everyone. Once I figure out what to say to Val.
We hang out for most of the afternoon, watching the football game and having a few drinks. When I get home, I pull out my phone and try again to type out a text to Val.
Everett: I’m gay
I delete the text without sending it, sighing at myself. Obviously, I can’t come out to her via text, but I have to do something. I just have to tell her already.
Maybe tomorrow.
Chapter 15
Everett
After I tuck Livi in, I go to the kitchen