Hard Checked (Ice Kings #4) - Stacey Lynn Page 0,32

reached our impasse. Hell, I should have already known what condition she’s in. She’s not in the mental place to think clearly.

“I can give you time—”

“No. I want you to sign the papers. I didn’t ask for much.”

The force of her words throws me back a step.

I’m speechless. I’ve known she thinks it’s over. But this isn’t the first time she’s been so upset with disheartening news she turns on me. We’ve always worked it out. That’s why when she left for Minnesota, I figured we’d talk after the holidays. But I never expected it’d turn to this.

“Face it, Sebastian. It’s over.” She unwraps and re-wraps her sweater, tying the belt at her waist tightly.

Damn. She’s so damn skinny.

How can her family not see this? Or push for the real reason?

I can only imagine what she’s said. “Sebastian’s gone all the time. I’m lonely. It’s too hard.”

Sure, that’s all true. I have absolutely no doubt about it. But that’s not why she’s doing this.

“Madison—”

“I’ve already made up my mind.” Her voice is cold. Almost as arctic as the cheek-burning wind outside.

She means this. Down to her soul, she means this and standing here, unwelcome in a home that’s been as much mine as hers for so many years… I feel it.

The emptiness in her.

Her love for me.

It’s gone.

All of it’s gone.

Perhaps it’s shock. I must be in shock. But this hurts so much less than I imagined it would. Maybe it’s because I’ve had so much time of her being gone to imagine this actually happening, even if I still doubted it.

Why am I fighting so hard to save something that’s already been destroyed?

“It ends this way?”

She shrugs. Bites her bottom lip. My chest constricts from how unhealthy she seems.

Madison is elegance and refinement. She’s always showered and dressed and looking like she could be ready for the occasional gala we do for the team at a moment’s notice.

She’s never disheveled. Un-showered. Wrapped in leggings and oversized cardigans without makeup.

She’s a mess.

I might be a bigger one as I stand here watching my wife put the final stake in our marriage. There’s not a damn thing I can do about it this time.

“You’re sure,” I say and it’s more of a statement than a question.

She nibbles her bottom lip. “Yup.”

We stare at each other for a moment. I expect her to apologize. To cry. To fall into my arms and weep and say she doesn’t mean any of it, she just hurts so damn much and doesn’t know how to fix it.

When I realize I have nothing to say because I know there’s nothing I can, and she doesn’t either, I nod once.

“I hope you know I’ll always love you. And I hope you get the help you need.”

I’m not just talking about her infertility. I’m pretty sure us not being able to have children caused her to have depression. Or exacerbated it. Something. I don’t even know because whenever I bring it up she glares at me with narrowed slits for eyes and lips that could spit fire if she were to open them… much like she’s doing now.

That’s it then.

If she won’t seek the help she needs, there’s not a whole lot I can do to help either of us.

I turn, unable to say goodbye to her, knowing if I lean in and kiss her she’ll push me away.

Perhaps that’s why she left the note in the first place. It would make it easier because this sure as hell didn’t help anything.

By the time I’m outside, I’m thankful for the chilling whip of wind and that Ben is outside, smoking a cigarette at the driver’s side of my mom’s SUV I drove over. He rarely smokes, only when drinking or stressed.

I bet he’s been smoking more lately.

I make a split-second decision because I know he’s out here waiting for me, probably trying to tell me some fatherly advice that’s no longer his to give. I don’t want to hear any of it.

He can’t be filled with wisdom when he doesn’t know the real problem.

With my keys in my hand, I beep the locks on Mom’s Toyota 4-Runner and meet Ben.

“We can’t have kids,” I say without preamble or politeness. His brows shoot sky high. “Tried for years. It messes with her head and she doesn’t want you all knowing. That’s only part of what this is. My suggestion… get Emma and Asher out of the house. The baby being around Madison is killing her, and then get her