“He’s a man with a sense of humor. You got one, too?”
“Not tonight.”
Wanda supposed that was only fair. She adjusted the corn so it covered as much of her forehead as possible. The cold almost felt pleasant, and the throbbing eased a little. Thinking about it, she realized that her landlady wasn’t going to leave until she explained. And Deloche hovering there all night was not a pretty picture.
She sighed. “I’m not running anything. I just do a little work for a friend, that’s all.”
“Phone sex?”
“More like phone romance.”
“I’m sorry? You call that romance? What he asked me to do wasn’t one bit romantic.”
“Oh, he was just pulling your leg. It’s called Get Seduced. S-E-D-U-C-E-D. That’s the number. And the old farts are channeled to me, if you want the truth, ’cause I understand them.”
Tracy plopped down on the edge of the sofa, and for a moment the room spun faster and Wanda had to close her eyes. “Wanda, what is there to understand? The man wanted me to—”
Wanda waved that away with a limp wrist. “It doesn’t matter what he said he wanted. I caught on real early all he and every one of them really wants is to talk to somebody who’ll listen. That guy’s kinda new, but he’ll catch on quick. They tell me all about their youth, when girls couldn’t get enough of them, couldn’t keep their hands to themselves, you know what I mean. And sometimes they get a little graphic. Like it makes them feel young and virile again just to recount those times, ’cause there’s nothing much to recount these days, not even when they sell as much Viagra over at the Rite Aid as they do plain old aspirin. Old men just love to tell stories. What else have they got? And who else is going to listen?”
“As if. You make it sound like a charitable venture.”
“Well, not exactly charity. I get paid. Takes a certain kind of woman to make an old man feel young and frisky again. I’m what they call ‘in demand.’”
“Is that all you’re in demand for?”
Wanda opened her eyes and made an attempt at indignation. “Just what are you implying, Ms. Deloche?”
“Oh, puh-leeze, stop with the ‘Ms. Deloche,’ would you? You know my name, and I know yours. And we’ve been through enough together to be on a first-name basis.”
“I’m trying not to think. It makes my head hurt.”
“Is this a hangover?”
“It is not! It’s something been working its way out for a couple of days. Could be a virus. There’s one making the rounds. Could be pie-related.”
“Pie?”
“Coconut custard kept in the refrigerator too long. You got to be careful with custard and eat it quick. I knew better, but there wasn’t a soul at home to share it with.”
“Next time call me if you need to get rid of it faster, and I don’t mean the way you did tonight.”
“You never did put a healthy slice of pie in that flat little stomach of yours. And what did you mean about me being in demand for something else?”
“I mean, do you meet these guys for other kinds of favors?”
“You mean, am I hooking?”
“That crossed my mind, yes.”
“You just go ahead and take yourself out that door right now.” Wanda tried, but indignation really was beyond her. She sounded half-dead.
“It was a question,” Tracy said. “You’re running a senior citizen sex line here. It seems appropriate to ask.”
“I told you, I don’t run it! I work with a woman who set me up doing it. All these old guys would come in for the early bird specials at the Dancing Shrimp, and before I started work there, Lainie used to joke with them, make them feel good about themselves, if you know what I mean?”
“I don’t.”
“Telling a few off-color jokes, poking a little fun, stroking their egos.”
“I hope that’s all she was stroking.”
“You have a dirty mind.”
“Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.”
“Anyways…” Wanda closed her eyes again. “Lainie started getting calls. She figured out right away this was going to keep going unless she put a stop to it, but she hated to do that. She saw a need, if you can understand that.”
“I guess I’ve never seen that particular need. The men that I know don’t have to pay for phone sex.”
“I bet they pay for the other kind. And I don’t mean by the hour, so don’t go getting uppity. I mean fancy presents, dinners out,