a Boys Club picnic maybe ten years ago. She had thrown it on after a quick shower.
“No, tell me where you’re sitting instead. So I can picture you.”
“In my bood-war…”
“All lace and satin?”
“No… Lots of flowers, though. More of a jungle theme here.” She eyed her bright upholstery. “Me Jane, you Tarzan. Exotic animals, too.”
“Animals?”
“Uh-huh. A monkey…” She gazed at the stuffed monkey. “And a wild beast lurking in the corner.”
“Wild beast?”
She laughed. “Just a dog. A sleeping dog, at that.”
There was a pause. “Now that’s something I never pictured you with.”
“Well, you would be wrong.”
“What kind of dog?”
She wondered if a man could find a woman by her dog and decided she was safe enough. “A greyhound.”
“Who’d have thought?”
“And what about you? Tell me where you are.”
“Both feet planted firmly in the Land of Regret.”
She thought that was the strangest answer she’d ever gotten, and still, she understood immediately what he meant.
“Whatever got you there? You can leave anytime.”
“You got any idea how?”
“First thing would be to say sorry to anybody who needs it. Second would be to realize you got the rest of your life ahead of you, and you don’t want to spend it mired up to your knees. So you take steps. A few at a time. Until you’re standing in the open again.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“It’s not easy. I seem to be spending time there, too.”
“You have things you regret?”
“Honey, I’m just human.”
“I don’t like you being unhappy.”
She realized the man was paying for the call, and he was right. It wasn’t her job to bring him further down or complain about anything. She sat up a little straighter, and even though he couldn’t see her, she pasted a smile on her lips. “Then I won’t be. I’ll be as contented as a cat swimming in cream. And I promise, I can make you feel the same way.”
“No, Sunshine, I just meant I wish you were happy. Really happy. You deserve to be.”
Her shoulders sagged. “We all deserve to be.”
“You think we ought to warn babies in the hospital nursery that this life might not turn out the way they hope?”
“What, and scare them back to wherever they came from? It can be a trial, no doubt. But you’ve had good times, right? Enough to keep you moving.”
“A lot of them,” he acknowledged. “Talking to you is one of them.”
Her heart beat a little faster. She realized how pathetic that was. A stranger who was paying for this conversation said something nice, and she reacted like a high school freshman on her first real date.
“I like talking to you, too,” she said. Sadly, she meant it. “I have to go now. But we’ll talk again. Okay?”
“You bet.”
“Pet that greyhound for me.” He laughed a little.
She hung up and held the phone to her breasts a moment. She wasn’t sure whether the man mired in the Land of Regret or the dog she had rescued from certain death had brought the flood of tears to her eyes. She lifted the hem of Ken’s shirt and dried them. Then she dried them again. And finally once more.
It really was such a sad, old world.
chapter twenty
Like her predecessor, Tracy planned her workweek down to the minute. By the time the kids arrived, she was already sure all the day’s equipment was in place, and all the counselors and teachers were present. If needed, she had made calls to parents and chatted with either Woody or Gladys about lingering concerns. At nine, she positioned herself with the counselors near the front door, trading fist bumps or high fives, and insinuating herself between boys bent on proving their superior testosterone levels. Oddly enough, she didn’t hate any of it.
On Friday morning she woke earlier than usual and realized she’d had “the” dream again. This time she was dressed in a silver Hervé Léger bandage dress, tight and short and utterly fabulous on her carefully toned body. She walked through the door of the country club, and before the walkie-talkie men could evict her, George Clooney and Ben Stiller sent admiring glances her way. She waved as the men in dark suits dragged her outside, sprouted eagle’s wings and soared into space with Tracy clutched firmly in their talons.
Only this time, she didn’t tumble to a white sand beach. This time she was released over the sparkling whitecaps just beyond. And as she fell, she simply positioned her hands in front of her in the classic position and dove into