“Is too fucking big, and she doesn’t deserve it.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I wish I could fix this for you.”
“I know.” I gave him a small smile. “You know you make my life better, right?”
“Fuck, I hope so. We managed to screw so much shit up for you.”
I licked my lips. “Maybe we needed to… I don’t know, maybe we needed to be apart and I needed to see what life was like without you guys in it.”
“Yeah well, I knew what life without you in it was like, and I fucking hated it then.” When he slid an arm around me, I leaned into him and tucked my face against his neck. He massaged my nape as he said, “And maybe that’s why I hate the idea of you being out there on your own.”
“Well, to be fair,” I tried to inject some lightness into my tone, “the last couple of times I’ve ‘stepped out,’ shit has gone sideways.”
He made a noise of agreement, but finally stepped back, hands on my shoulders. “Text when you get there,” he said firmly. “Text when you’re leaving.”
I nodded. The worry hadn’t left his expression at all.
“Are you going anywhere else?” He flexed his fingers against my shoulders, and a part of me hated what this was doing to him—the worry, the concern, and the fear eating at him. It made me want to offer to let him just come along.
But that would kind of defeat the purpose. I needed to do this as much for them as for me at this point.
“I don’t think so.” I scrunched up my nose, before I offered him a smile. “If I do, how about I text that, too?”
He blew out a breath, then brushed a kiss to my lips. “Thank you.”
“You shouldn’t have to thank me for being considerate.” I got it. They were worried. But they also weren’t fighting me on this, which was a win for me.
“You shouldn’t have to coddle my feelings,” Jake countered, then gave my ass a little squeeze. “Go on, go do your thing.”
“Jake?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you.”
A wry smile twisted his lips, and my heart gave a little flutter. Sometimes, the way he looked at me just knocked all the wind out of me. “Get out of here before I change my mind,” he said. “I’m already hating every minute you’re going to be gone.”
I laughed, but the minute I was in the car and got it started—it took a little twisting with my left hand and the same for the gear shift—I found myself missing them, too. Not how I had that summer, but the little things. The touches. The teasing comments. The smiles.
Then I glanced to where Jake waited on the sidewalk, hands tucked into his pockets and looking very lickable. I blew him a kiss and then focused on driving. It wasn’t until I got to the edge of the parking lot, waiting to turn out, that I let out another long breath and turned up the music.
It was awkward as fuck driving, no lie. But it was also nice to just be me. For a little while.
Yes, I was pathetic. I couldn’t wait to get back to see them after I talked to Marsha and maybe straightened out what work I could do, if any.
Marsha, though thrilled to see me, was not interested in me coming back to work until I was one hundred percent. Even if I could run the register just fine, there were too many things I needed both arms for, and personally, she wanted me to focus on me.
In fact, she suggested that I wait until after the holidays to come back. When I gaped at her, she confessed she had hired someone temporarily through the holidays to cover for me. It was a blow. I got it, she couldn’t just keep my job indefinitely. Even if she promised my job wasn’t going anywhere. However, until I was better, she wanted me looking after myself.
The woman still gave the best hugs, and she sent me off with a chocolate shake, which I sat in the car and drank as I tried to figure out what I was going to do. Mental math told me I had more than enough to cover my expenses through the holidays. There wouldn’t be much in the way for Christmas shopping or for Jake’s birthday. I could probably splurge a little to make sure I got them something.