Today I finally did the last thing I needed to before I could talk to you about it all. Before I felt like I could deserve to try.”
I pressed my lips together for about a split second, my nose tingling. My eyes burning. My soul screaming.
“Bibi?”
“Yes, Snack Pack?”
“Are you gonna ask if I’m sure I’m crazy about you?”
This idiot.
That finally had me digging in deep to figure out how I felt. And there was only one answer I could give him. “No, I wasn’t planning on it. Why wouldn’t you be?” I joked.
And I meant it.
All the little signs… the ones I’d ignored or taken to be something else—friendship, it had been a deep-rooted, immovable friendship—had been there along the way.
Like my cousin had said, he wouldn’t say something and he wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t completely serious. I knew Zac as a jokester as much as I knew him as the man who usually had incredible self-discipline and dreams bigger than anything. He was a man who earned people’s friendship and devotion.
He knew what he wanted out of life more often than he didn’t. But sometimes we all just needed a little push. Whether it was a gentle one or a hard shove was the question though.
And his smile in that moment was as wide as Texas. “And here I was thinkin’ I’d have to make you a list of reasons why I am,” he said with amusement, with so much affection it threatened to break my heart in half.
But only threatened, because I didn’t spook easily. I was used to being given these tiny microscopic chances and running with them. All I ever needed in anything was an opportunity and my greedy ass would take it all.
Because he cared for me.
He was here on this night, before his game, because he’d missed me.
Because he said he loved me.
Because I mattered.
They were all things I had known but in a different way. A very different way. And I had wanted this so badly, I had just never seriously hoped of thinking it was a possibility.
But of course it was. It should have always been. He could do a hell of a lot worse than me.
“Nah,” I told him, reaching across the console and booping him on the nose with my free hand even though it shook. “I believe you.”
And just as quickly as that subtle joy had risen inside of me, it went away.
Because I remembered.
I remembered what the hell had driven me to come all the way here. To spend two weeks looking at apartments. To have spent my Thanksgiving missing him. To have my favorite people badgering me in my sister’s kitchen.
My mood dropped just. Like. That.
I drew my hand back like he’d burned me, and his happy expression instantly disappeared. “What is it?”
Tucking my hand back beneath my leg, I told myself to be an adult and just… say it. “You’re being all nice and sweet to me and saying all this, and… and… it’s bullshit.”
“What’s bullshit?”
“This. What you’re saying.”
That blue-eyed gaze narrowed. “No, it’s not.”
I nodded a little sarcastically, a little mean. “Well, yeah, it kind of is.”
“Tell me why you think that.”
“Because… two, three weeks ago, you let some girl sit on your lap and push her titties in front of your face. If that’s how you think you’re supposed to love someone, then you’re doing something wrong. I know you said you’re new to it, but you’re not dumb.”
He blinked once. “No, I didn’t.”
“Yes, you did. I saw the picture, Zac.”
His forehead creased, and he was straight-up frowning as both of his hands held mine. That handsome Disney prince face was pulled into a deep frown, probably the deepest frown I’d ever seen on him. “No, I didn’t.”
He was denying it.
I eyed him, knowing in my bones that he wouldn’t lie. Not to me. Not over something like this. I knew it.
So what the hell did that mean? I knew what I’d seen. I hadn’t imagined that shit. I’d seen the date she posted it.
“I did no such thing, darlin’. I don’t even know what you’re talkin’ about. I haven’t had any girls anywhere near my lap in… I don’t know how long. Forever.” His frown got even more fierce. “Not since before you showed up. Longer than that.”
I wanted to frown at him or think this was bullshit or at least claim that it was, but… I knew this person. I knew him well. Better than anyone.