His arms loosened as his head pulled backward, and he aimed those pastel blue eyes at me. Anguish showed in the lines of his forehead and mouth. “I do wish you would’ve told me she said somethin’, but I must’ve not been a good enough friend then either if you didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell me.”
His words punched me right in the chest. “No. No. You were always such a good friend, even when you had a lot going on. You had barely been in the NFO for like two seasons, and you were busy and getting busier and…” I’d been in love with you and hadn’t known what to do with myself. That was the truth. But I wouldn’t say it. It wasn’t like I was ashamed. If he put the pieces together, he’d figure it out on his own. There just wasn’t a point in me bringing it up.
One of those big quarterback hands cupped the nape of my neck under my hair, and his gaze turned even more intent. “I’ll never believe that,” he told me. “And nothin’ is gonna make me feel better. You don’t need to make excuses for what I did and for what I didn’t do. This was Jessica’s fault for sure, and I hope she gets what’s comin’ to her eventually—I think she will, if the face Enzo was makin’ at her meant anything—but at the end of the day, this is my fault.”
“Zac—”
“I’m sorry, kiddo. I’m so damn sorry for all of it.”
“No, it’s my fault too. I was just so sad after Mamá Lupe died and—” I gulped, and my shoulders bobbed under his forearms. “—I’m sorry I didn’t believe in you more. I’m just…. I was just used to people getting busy and forgetting about me. And I guess I convinced myself that you had only been nice to me because of the snake thing that I don’t even remember.”
Zac’s mouth went flat, and I saw his Adam’s apple bob. “I didn’t like you so much because you saved my life, kiddo. Bein’ around you has always made me happy. Even when you were a baby, you were always makin’ me laugh.” His head tilted forward, and I barely heard him, but I did. “You still do. That’s why I… that’s why I’m always botherin’ you. You make everything fun. Everything good. You’ve always been my favorite girl, kiddo. Hands down.”
I wasn’t sure if he smiled first or if I did, but what I did know was that I loved him with my whole heart, even though I knew better.
At least he loved me too. In his own way.
Chapter Seventeen
Me: I’m going to be late getting home. Get dinner without me. Sorry to bail, but I’ll make you some almond cake to make it up to you. XOXO
I sent the message with my right hand, leaned back against the seat I was in, and sighed.
I couldn’t fucking believe it.
Part of me wanted to glance at the man in the seat beside mine, but I couldn’t talk myself into it. I knew that this was my reality. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be sitting where I was, with him beside me.
Having one of the worst days of my life.
The only positive side to all this was that he was pretending I wasn’t next to him too.
Thankfully, he was still doing that when my phone rang maybe a minute and a half after I’d sent my text message.
I LOVE ZAC CALLING flashed across the screen—I wasn’t sure when the hell he’d snuck onto my phone and changed his contact information, but it had made me smile when I’d first seen it—and I answered.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey. You stayin’ late at work? Want me to bring you somethin’ to eat before you get hangry?” my friend asked in one quick breath, in almost a whisper that had me wondering what the hell he was in the middle of doing exactly. He’d told me he had a meeting at White Oaks headquarters with the coaching staff. We had only made plans to squeeze in dinner because… well, I think we were both shook up after what had happened with Jessica and the switching of our numbers, and we both probably felt bad about it. Maybe. At least I did. I’d had a lot to think about lately, and that was at the top of my list.
I rubbed at my brow bone with my right hand and glanced at