fingers into my hair, cradling the back of my head… and focus down on me.
I smiled, and he… kinda smiled.
Sort of.
It was mostly in his eyes somehow. Something moved in them that I didn’t know what to do with or how to begin to recognize. Something… big.
Before I could think about it too much, those fingertips scratched as my scalp lightly, and he exhaled, his breath touching my mouth.
Oh man.
“Darlin’?”
“Yeah?”
His fingernails scratched a little more. “Now that we got that sorted, you wanna tell me now what happened?”
I was in a daze. His lips were right there… and that meant nothing to him, but it meant too much to me. “With what?”
Those fingers of his did their little scratch thing that I now realized I could feel across the backs of my knees too. “With Jessica.”
Like I’d thought I was really going to get away with not talking about this anymore. Damn it.
Shoulders dropping down and back, I grabbed all of my inner strength and told him—ignoring the scratches that were making my knees weak as much as possible. “You want to know what happened in the bathroom or before?”
He thought about it for a second. “Before.” His exhale touched my mouth again, and I had to remind myself all about my expectations. “I put together enough of it outside the bathroom. I saw Trevor talkin’ to you and thought he’d stick with you, but by the time I went lookin’ for you, he said you’d left. Should’ve gone with you, darlin’, but I needed to understand what the hell she’d been talkin’ about. I had no idea….”
He shut his mouth, and the muscles in his cheeks rippled.
I sucked in a breath that made my eyes water at the reminder of what she’d done.
I still couldn’t believe it. I didn’t know if I ever would.
“She told me,” Zac continued on after a second, in something very, very close to a croak that had me staring straight into those light blue eyes. “Enzo is a good guy. Used to be a quarterback here but he retired two seasons ago. He was tellin’ me all about his new wife and how they were in town visitin’ his family before y’all came out, and how she hadn’t wanted to go to the party but he’d begged her… He made her explain. I couldn’t believe she did that, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. You said I never wrote you back or answered, and I told you there was no way I would’ve let that happen. I know I tried gettin’ in touch with you too, kiddo. There’s no way I wouldn’t have. And I know that’s no excuse for all of the last ten years, but I really did start to believe there that you just didn’t want me to be part of your life anymore.”
Something terrible and bitter pinched my tongue at the memory of the joy on his face when he’d realized it was me that first day, of how happy he’d seemed to be.
And he’d thought I didn’t want him around?
“Zac, why were you so nice to me that first day if you thought I had felt that way?”
He closed his mouth and looked at me. “’Cause I was happy to see you. I missed you. I wasn’t lyin’. I never forgot you. I asked about you less and less, but I still wondered… when I wasn’t busy havin’ my own head up my ass.”
Tears stung my eyes again at the infinite kindness in him. When I’d seen him, I’d been so hurt, and all I’d wanted was to keep my distance so that I wouldn’t give him the opportunity to hurt me again. And he’d—he’d tried and kept on trying, even thinking I hadn’t wanted him around either.
Of course I was still in love with him. Of course I’d fallen in love with him again. I had no choice.
His fingers slipped from my hair, and he stared at me even harder. “She changed your number in my goddamn phone. Changed my number in yours because she was fuckin’ jealous. Fuckin’ jealous.”
He took a step back then as he shook his head, leaving me reeling again as he walked toward the living room wall and then pivoted on his heel, stopping instantly. His hands scrubbed at his denim-covered thighs, and he made this terrible noise in his throat that made me want to go to him.
“There’s more to the story, isn’t there?” he asked