Grip Trilogy Box Set - Kennedy Ryan Page 0,154

to be with someone the way Rhyson is with Kai, and you were held up with me.”

I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees.

“When Parker upgraded Qwest’s room at his hotel that night, it was perfect timing.” I dip my head until a fall of hair hides my face from him. “So I invited Parker to the club. I wanted you to see us together and thought it might give you a little push in the right direction.”

The silence swells with all the emotions he’s suppressing, but they bubble up to the surface anyway, tightening the air in the closet until it feels like a tomb.

“I can tell you’re frustrated with me,” I say softly. “You don’t have to hide that. I can take it.”

“You wasted more time.” He walks over to the few of my items hanging in the space he allotted for me, back turned to me. He lifts the sleeve of a dress and lets it fall. “And we involved Qwest. She got hurt because of us. And Parker?”

He aims a hard look at me over his shoulder.

“You fucked him to advance this dumb ass plan of yours?”

“No.” I squeeze my eyes shut, but that doesn’t keep me from seeing myself clearly. “I had no intention of sleeping with Parker. I was so drunk I didn’t even know what had happened when I woke up with him in my bed the next morning. He had to tell me we had slept together.”

“Don’t tell me that.” He squeezes his eyes shut, a growl rumbling in his chest. He links his hands behind his head, pacing back and forth in front of the bench. “If you were anywhere near as drunk that night as you were at Pirouette, I can’t believe you had sex with someone in that state. Do you have any idea how irresponsible that is? He could have done anything to you. You’re supposed to be the rational one. The level-headed one, and you pull this shit.”

I surge to my feet, reaching for anger. Anything to distract me from the shame and regret weaving together like a chain-link fence around my self-respect.

“I never claimed to be perfect and you aren’t my keeper. I don’t need a lecture, Grip. I’m just trying to tell you what happened.”

“And I’m telling you it’s fucked up!” Grip’s voice reverberates in the confines of the closet. “All of it. You pulling in Parker to get me to sleep with Qwest.”

“I didn’t force you to sleep with her.”

“You getting drunk,” he continues as if I didn’t correct him, “and riding off into the night with that asshole.”

“Riding off into the night?” I scoff. “Glad we’re not resorting to the dramatic.”

“Sleeping with him when you weren’t even lucid enough to remember.” He pauses, giving me space to object, but I don’t have an objection. He can’t be anymore disappointed in me than I am in myself for that. My anger deflates as quickly as it rose, and so does his. He steps close and brushes a knuckle over my cheek before cupping my face.

“Bris, what’s up with all the drinking lately?” His voice is a balm over the self-inflicted wounds of my own actions. “I mean, we’ve always joked that you can outdrink us all, that nobody holds their liquor like you, but it was never like this. Should I be worried?”

A heavy laugh tumbles out of my mouth. I lean into his warm palm and close my eyes against the concern on his face.

“I’m not an alcoholic if that’s what you’re asking.” I step even closer to him, so close I can drop my head to his chest and mumble my words into the smooth skin. “Lately I just needed to be . . . numb.”

“Why?” When I don’t respond for a few seconds, he lifts my chin and searches my face. “Numb to what?”

I pull away to show him the truth in my eyes.

“You and Qwest. That night I sent you off on a date with her, I was miserable. And I knew I did it to myself. Not just involving Parker or arranging the date with Qwest, but letting my fears rule me. Denying myself the one thing I really wanted.”

“And what was that?” His eyes rest intently on my face. He already knows the answer, but I know he needs to hear me say it. After all I’ve put him through, he deserves to hear it. “What do you want?”

“You,” I whisper.

There’s no gloating, no smugness in his