“I think that’s enough for today,” Jessie says with that fucking smile on her face.
I can’t figure out if I’m moody because of lack of drugs, or because I feel like a caged animal here in this elite daycare.
“Want to share more?”
“Huh?” I look over to the Playboy Playmate. “What did you say?”
Her blue eyes look around the room. “Everyone left, but you just stayed seated. I thought maybe you had more you wanted to share.” Her eyes come back to mine. “If so, I can listen.”
“Oh, no.” I notice we are the only two left in the room. “No, I’m done.” I hate a lot about this place, but most definitely the group sessions. I don’t need to tell these strangers anything about me. Most they have read in headlines.
I stand and walk out of the room and turn to the right, exiting the side door. I stand out on the patio that overlooks the tennis courts and golf course.
“Want a cigarette?”
I look over to see she’s followed me outside. “No, thanks. I don’t smoke.” Not anymore, anyway.
She gives a soft chuckle. “Yeah, me either.” Lighting the end of the cigarette, she takes in a drag and blows it out. “But when they take everything away, you have to find something to pass the time.”
“How long have you been here?” I ask.
“Five days.” She holds out her right hand to me. “They call me Bex.”
“Grave.” I shake it, wondering if that’s a fake name or not.
She nods quickly. “I would say it’s nice to meet you but not much is nice about this hell hole.”
I laugh. “It could be worse, I guess.” Could be dead.
She snorts. “Speak for yourself.”
“I’m guessing you didn’t check yourself in?”
She shakes her head and tucks her bleach blond hair behind her ear. “My father is getting married to his fifth wife in three months. Walked in on me fucking my soon-to-be stepbrother on his desk. Next thing I knew, he was dragging my ass out of bed the next morning and had a car deliver me here. This is my home for the next five weeks.”
I nod, dropping my head. “There’s nothing wrong with admitting you need help with addiction. Drugs can take over your life.” I haven’t been this sober in this amount of consecutive days in I don’t know how long. The first five days here I felt like shit. My body trying to learn to live without them. I didn’t do them when I was with April, but the temptation was still there. I just chose not to. Now that I know I can’t, my body craved it. Or maybe that was just my mind wanting to bury my feelings and the heartache. I’ve always known I had a problem, but I never wanted to admit it.
“I wish my problem was drugs.” She brings the cigarette to her lips.
I frown. “You’re in rehab but don’t have an addiction?”
She shrugs. “They say I’m a sex addict.” Turning her head, she winks at me while biting her bottom lip. “I say I just like cock.” Her eyes drop to my jeans.
I laugh. “Who doesn’t enjoy sex?”
“Right?” She throws her head back and laughs. “See, someone gets it.”
I nod. “Yeah, I do.”
“Grave?”
We both turn around to see Jessie walking toward us. She frowns at Bex smoking a cigarette but doesn’t voice her opinion about it. “You have a phone call,” she tells me.
I begin to walk away from the railing as Bex calls out, “See you around.”
APRIL
I stand inside the wedding chapel, looking over the flower arrangements that the girls and I put together. It took six weeks of nonstop work, but it looks amazing, if I do say so myself.
The wedding is tomorrow. We’ve been here for the past three hours for the rehearsal, and it couldn’t have gone any better. I should be ecstatic, but a part of me is still so sad. Grave has been gone for over a month now. I haven’t had any kind of interaction with him whatsoever, and that’s been the hardest part. No phone calls, no visits, not even a letter. I get all my updates for him through Titan, but even that, he keeps short. He visits him once a week with multiple phone calls. I know Cross and Bones also have contact with him, but I’m not close with either one of them to ask what they know.