attempted suicide. I needed time to get my shit together. To decide the kind of life I wanted to have and how I was going to accomplish it. Plus, I just wanted to spend time with April. I helped her at the shop. She’s been extremely busy playing catchup and getting ready for Emilee and Titan’s wedding. It was a nice change of scenery. Not like anyone missed me here.
My door opens, and I hold my breath when I see my brother enter. So much for flying under the radar. I sit back in my seat, looking up at him.
He comes to stand at my desk. “May I speak to you?”
“If it’s about rehab, no,” I say simply.
He sighs and sits down, rolling up the sleeves on his button-down. “I’m sorry, Grave.”
“Don’t worry about it.” I know my brother doesn’t do well when it comes to talking about feelings. I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable. He doesn’t need to apologize. And I don’t need to hear it.
His eyes go to my sleeve, and he frowns as he looks it over. Recognition flashes across his face when he realizes that face looks familiar. “So …” He looks at me. “She’s the one?”
I nod. “She’s the one.” April is everything for me. She’s my accountability. My love and my hell. She’s going to help me fight my demons every day by giving me all of her.
My office phone rings, and I pick it up. “Grave.”
“Sir, you have a visitor,” Nigel says into the phone.
“Who is it?”
“Tanner Mason.”
I make my way downstairs, and I wasn’t surprised when Bones insisted on coming with me. We step off the elevator into our private lobby. “Why are you here, Tanner?” It’s the same thing he asked me that first night at the Airport.
He looks from Bones to me. “I, uh …” He squares his shoulders. “I wanted to tell you in person.” He pauses.
“Okay.” I step toward him. “Tell me what?”
“Trey found Lucy in her penthouse this morning. She had passed away.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Bones is the first to speak. His words as sincere as you’ll ever get from him.
My chest tightens, and I run my hand over my hair. “Cause of death?” I ask.
His eyes hold mine. You can tell he wants to cry, but he’s holding it together the best he can. “It was …” He clears his throat. “Suicide.”
APRIL
I stand next to Grave at the graveside service for Lucy. “Fire Away” by Chris Stapleton plays softly in the background. The Mason brothers wanted to have a private service. Her death hasn’t even been announced publicly since she passed away two days ago.
I still don’t believe it. I just saw her. She came by the shop. She looked better, said she wanted to be better. Not three hours later she was found dead in her penthouse apartment. It doesn’t add up. Or maybe I just don’t want to believe it. I’ve never known depression or addiction before. I don’t pretend to even begin to understand what Lucy felt or went through.
I reach out for Grave’s hand, but he pulls away from me.
I close my eyes and let the tears roll freely down my face. He’s been this way ever since he found out about her death. Distant. Completely closed-off. No jokes. No nothing.
He blames himself. We all do. Even I feel like I could have done more to help her. To save her. She didn’t deserve to die. Not this young and not this way. She had too much to give to this world. She was going to rehab. She had plans to change her life around. She wanted to do better for herself.
Opening my eyes, I see the three Mason brothers standing by her casket. Trey, the baby, openly sobs with his hand on the light wood.
Tanner stands next to him with his head down with his hand on his baby brother. I can see his shoulders shaking.
The only one I’ve never seen is Turner, but I knew who he was the moment I saw him. They all have a similar look about them. He stands there, head held high, and not a tear in his eye. His hands tucked in the front pockets of his suit. Sunglasses on top of his head. He looks out into nothing. And my heart breaks for him. At the inner battle he’s fighting. There’s nothing wrong with feeling something, especially when the loss is a sibling.