was our retelling of the events. As soon as I woke up, I was ready to take the fall, until Sawyer’s mom told me, in no uncertain terms, that their family would stop paying for my mom’s medical care if I didn’t back up her son’s fabricated story.
At the time I really felt like I had no choice. I was only fourteen and my only family was hanging onto life by a thread. I didn’t know they were going to use my words to send Huck away, or that Sawyer was going to get even more unhinged and demanding as time went on.
It drove me crazy how easily everyone accepted without question that Huck was the bad guy, that he was the one who was careless and reckless with our lives that night. And it nearly made me lose my mind when Sawyer’s mother started to aggressively hint that Huck had purposely caused the crash to injure me and Sawyer when it was revealed her son had suffered spinal damage and may never be able to walk again.
The writing was on the wall. Huck was in big trouble with no way out and no one coming to save him. He made a deal with his father and Sawyer’s mom to go away. If he disappeared for good and gave up his share of the inheritance, and agreed to attend some military boarding school all the way across the country until graduation, no charges would be pressed against him. He was just a kid, and I was terrified for him. Plus, the guilt I felt over the fact that no one knew if Sawyer was ever going to be able to walk again was close to unbearable. So was the frustration that Huck was being punished in my place, and the terror of not knowing if my mom was ever going to get better. I was an emotional wreck and had no one to lean on or turn to. It felt like I was getting what I deserved for being dishonest.
Huck made a noise low in his throat and looked at me with an expression I couldn’t read as he told me flatly, “An apology isn’t as important as the person giving it or the person on the receiving end.”
He reached out and knocked on the rim of the tub before hauling himself to his feet. He looked down at where I was still curled up in a protective ball.
“Don’t spend the night in there, Ollie. You’re old enough to know it’s not the storm that was going to hurt you that night. Go back to bed. I’m sure the lights will be on any minute, and if you can’t stand being alone until then, go hang out with Vernon. The kid plays video games until the sun comes up. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind the company.”
Huck left the bathroom without a backward glance, leaving the lantern behind.
I slumped back down in the tub and pulled the blanket back over my head.
I was afraid—of so many things.
I regretted so much from before.
I wished things could be different; that I had made better choices all around back then.
It didn’t escape my notice that he didn’t accept my apology… or that he’d had no interest in hearing it.
I couldn’t blame him. Not when I was too busy blaming myself for everything that had gone wrong.
Huck
Usually, when I went running with Harlen in the morning, I put in AirPods and shut out the outside world for an hour or two. Today I was so tired it felt like my sneakers were made of cement and each of my legs weighed one-hundred pounds. I was typically less than alert when we ran since my shifts at the bar ended so late at night, and we ran so early in the morning, but last night I’d come home early and then hadn’t slept a wink. It was impossible to close out the noise in my head then and now.
When we rounded a corner and the college came into view, I slowed the pounding pace I’d been struggling to keep and eventually stopped, bending over and putting my hands on my knees as I wheezed to catch my breath, while Harlen jogged in a slow circle around me.
“I don’t get you, man.”
I looked up at him from under a sweaty brow, irritated for more than one reason. “What do you mean?”
Harlen huffed out an aggravated sound and stopped moving. He put his hands on his hips and