Goddess of Pain - Katie May Page 0,44

Loves me? As if.

Pain rushes through me, but anger quickly tempers it. “No, he doesn’t. But I just don’t understand why he won’t leave.”

We’re gasoline and a match. When we connect, an explosion is inevitable. I just hope that both of us can survive the flames. Why does he stay? Why does he pretend to love me?

The small niggle in the back of my mind becomes a large, battering ram that demands my complete and utter attention. But when I try to look at what’s bothering me, the thought flees as quickly as it comes.

Helio and I sit in relative silence. The only sound is the steady thump-thump-thump of his heart. I listen to that, only that, and the rest of the world gradually fades away into hues of gray and silver. Despite having slept for hours earlier, I find myself unbearably tired.

I don’t know how long we sit there, but eventually, Avery returns, an impertinent smile firmly in place.

“How was…um…body dumping?” I query, refusing to lift my head from Helio’s neck.

“No one should be able to find Burke,” Avery replies cheerfully, and if I didn’t know what notorious, demented act he just committed, I would think he was talking about hide and seek or something equally mundane. “By the way, your brothers called.”

“My brothers?” I bolt upright. In light of reuniting with my men, I’d almost forgotten the atrocious truth—my brothers aren’t actually my brothers. Hell, for all I know, the memories I share with them could be a complete and utter lie. It’s like a wrecking ball is destroying the last of my defenses, leaving me shaky and vulnerable.

“They want to know if you can come over for dinner tonight,” he continues, eyes worried. He drops to his knees in front of me and Helio, and places his hands on my thighs, squeezing once. “You don’t have to go if you’re not ready.”

“No.” I shake my head vehemently. It feels as if my heart is shrinking in a rapidly growing vise. Nails are piercing my skin, rendering me immobile. “We need to figure out what they know.”

I refuse to believe my brothers have any part to play in what happened to me and my men. They love me. They would never hurt me.

Right?

Avery searches my face intently, gauging my expression and ensuring my sincerity. Whatever he sees has him nodding subserviently, ambling to his feet. He shares a loaded, indecipherable look with Helio before gesturing towards the hall.

“I’ll round up the troops.” With another nod at Helio, Avery hurries away, leaving me alone once more with my gentle giant.

“You sure?” Helio grunts, his arms tightening around me. Despite not being able to see him, I can hear the protest on the tip of his tongue, coating it like a sickly poison. I don’t know if it stems from the pain their betrayal would cost me or the mere fact that he doesn’t want to physically let me go. Either way, I rub soothing patterns into his tan wrists.

“I need to know. They’re my brothers, and I love them…but…”

“But they could be behind this,” Helio finishes. He leans forward and brushes a kiss to my temple.

“I don’t want to think that.” My hands shake, and I dig my nails into the sensitive skin of my palm. Immediately, blood wells, and I relish in the brief stab of pain. It grounds me, allows me to focus on my turbulent thoughts. “I don’t want to think the worst of them. And at the same time, I’m freaking terrified. What if it was all a lie? What if the memories we supposedly had as children were nothing but an illusion?” Tears burn my eyes, but I stubbornly hold them at bay. “My dad died when I was in high school. Did you know that?” I continue on before he can respond. “And now I wonder if that man even knew me. What if he died before he received his fake memories? What if the man I still love and adore, the man I practically worshiped, didn’t even know I existed when he was alive? Fuck, Helio.”

“We’ll figure it out, baby,” Helio assures me, and the certainty in his voice soothes my jagged nerves.

A roar erupts from Avery’s bedroom, and a furious Sin emerges, his hands entirely engulfed by flames. When his head swings my way, I see fire dancing in his eyes, almost as if I’m staring into hell itself. The red bleeds into the inky darkness of his pupils, swirling like