Starting tomorrow, he must begin watching the new subject more carefully.
Chapter 13
SALLY MONTGOMERY PAUSED just inside the entrance to the Speckled Hen, and wondered if she shouldn’t turn around and walk back out again. She glanced at herself in the enormous mirror that dominated the foyer of the restaurant and felt reassured. Nothing in her reflection betrayed her nervousness. To an observer she would look to be exactly what she was—a young professional woman. She was wearing a red suit with navy blue accents, deliberately chosen to draw attention to itself and away from the strain in her face, which she had tried to hide behind a layer of carefully applied makeup.
“I’m Mrs. Montgomery,” she told the smiling hostess. “I’m meeting Mrs. Ransom.”
“Of course,” the hostess replied. “If you’ll follow me?” With Sally trailing behind her, the woman threaded her way through the crowded restaurant to a small table tucked away in an alcove near the kitchen. Jan Ransom was sipping a spritzer and said nothing until the hostess had left the table.
“I asked for this table because it’s far from prying ears. No sense whispering our secrets to the world, is there?”
Sally let herself relax a little and glanced around, relieved to see that there wasn’t a familiar face anywhere in the room. A waiter appeared, and she ordered a glass of wine, then turned her attention to Janelle Ransom.
“I suppose you must have thought I was crazy, calling you in the middle of the night,” she began. Jan Ransom made a deprecating gesture.
“Don’t be silly. All of us are like that at first. For a while I thought I was going crazy. I was calling people I hardly know and trying to explain what had happened to my little girl. I suppose I was really trying to explain it to myself.” She fell silent as the waiter reappeared with Sally’s drink. When he was gone again, she held up her glass. “To us,” she proposed. “Lord knows, people who’ve been through what we’ve been through need to stick together.” The two women sipped on their drinks for a moment and scanned the menu.
“Can I ask you something?” Jan asked after the waiter had taken their orders. “Why did you choose me to call? Did I say something the other night?”
Sally nodded. “I don’t quite know how to start …” She faltered. Jan smiled at her encouragingly.
“Start any way you want, and don’t worry about my feelings. One thing you learn after you lose a baby to SIDS is that there are times when you have to say everything you’re feeling, no matter how awful it sounds, and hear everything people are saying, no matter how much it hurts.”
Sally took a deep breath. “You said the other night that you hadn’t wanted your baby—”
“Until she was born,” Jan broke in. “Once she was born, I fell in love with her.” A faraway look came into Jan’s eyes and she smiled. “You should have seen her, Sally. She was the most beautiful baby you ever saw, even right after she was born. None of that wizened-monkey look. She was tiny, but I swear she came into the world laughing and never stopped. Until that day …” She trailed off and the smile disappeared from her face. When she spoke again, there was a hard edge of bitterness to her voice. “I still wonder, you know. I still wonder if it was something I did, or didn’t do”
“I know,” Sally whispered. “That’s what’s terrifying me too. I—well, I hadn’t planned on having Julie either. Even my son was a couple of years ahead of schedule. Funny, isn’t it? Some women want children desperately and can’t have them. And then there are women like us, who do our best not to get pregnant, but nothing works.”
“Forget the pill?” Jan asked.
Sally shook her head. “I’m allergic. I was using an IUD.”
“So much more romantic, right? You know it’s there, and nobody has to stop to install equipment. No worrying about whether you remembered to take the pill. Just a little tiny device and all the peace of mind in the world. And then you’re pregnant.”
“You had a coil too?”
“Uh-huh. It seemed like the best way. You know why? Religion. You want a laugh? I had it all figured out that with the IUD, I’d only be committing one sin, and I thought I could get away with that. The pill