God of Monsters (Juniper Unraveling #4) - Keri Lake Page 0,144
When I’m awake. When I sleep! He won’t leave me alone!”
“He can’t hurt you, Thalia, I promise. They’re just visions.”
“They’re real!” A sob finally breaks through, and I clamp my hands over my ears, as the echo of Remus’s whispers reverberate inside my head. “He won’t shut up! I just want to … to shut him up! If I could just shut him up!”
“Shut him up. Make him go away.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. Pretend I’m Remus. I’m the one who hurt you. I’m the one who makes you suffer every night.”
Squeezing my eyes closed, I shake my head. “No. No you’re not.”
Rough hands shake my body, the clawed fingers on my skin startling me out of my escape. I’m no longer in my bedroom back at the cabin, but on Remus’s bed. I look around the room and find Agatha sitting on the chair, as usual, with her drink in hand. Her lips kick up into a smile.
My necklace is draped over her collarbone.
The cabin with Titus was just a dream, then?
Beneath me, Remus lies arched, his head tipped back, eyes closed. “Look at her, Agatha. She loves it.”
I stare down at myself, uncuffed, rolling my hips against his, as if … as if enjoying sex with him.
“I told you. You wanted this, Thalia. You wanted me. You’re moaning.”
The anger explodes inside of me, and I rail my fist into his face. “Shut up!”
“Listen to you asking for more. Begging me. Titus would be so disappointed. If he were alive.”
“Fuck you!” I slam another punch to his face, and another. Any moment, his guards will pry me off and punish me for this, but I keep going, because the hate feels good. “I hate you! I fucking hate you! You rotten piece of shit! Go to hell!”
He tightens his grip, and something inside of me snaps. The blackness explodes to a haze of red, and I hit him, over and over, until blood coats my knuckles, splashing up into my eyes. I hit him until my hands are bruised and sore. Until he silences.
I collapse against him, my whole body trembling with a rush of adrenaline.
“You moaned,” Remus whispers, and my thoughts take me back to the one night, when I was swept up in my fantasy with Titus, rowing along in our paper boat. He leaned in to kiss me. I kissed him back, and when I opened my eyes, it was Remus’s mouth pressed against mine.
I finally crack.
All the pain. All the shame rolls out of me.
Strong arms come around, enveloping me, and I squirm to get loose, but his grip is like steel.
I lift my head to find it isn’t Remus beneath me, but Titus. Blood trickles out of his nose and his lip that I’ve split open. I trail my gaze down to his chest, where I’ve clawed at his skin so hard, it’s torn deep glistening grooves into his flesh. What I thought was real was only imagined.
Tears leak from my eyes, sharpening the features of his face, and I place my fingers to a red mark left on his cheek. “What have I done?”
“What you had to do.”
“No. I didn’t want to hurt you. Not you.”
“I’d face death to see the light in your eyes again. You can’t take your anger out on him now, but you can take it out on me, if you need to. This is better than watching you die every day. At least I know you’re still in there. You still have fight in you.” He reaches up to grab the back of my neck. “Hit me if you need to. I can take it all.”
“No. No more.” I lean forward to press my lips to his, hesitating for a moment, but follow through this time. The scent of him is overwhelming. Metal and fire hitting the back of my throat and watering my mouth. Leaning further, I breathe him in, curling my fingers around his flesh.
His scent. God, I can’t get enough of it. I want more. Need more.
He grips my shoulders, pushing me away from him. “It’s the injections you were given.”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you remember the bonding I spoke of, with Cali?”
At my nod, he strokes a hand down my hair. “It’s very strong with the shots.”
“You feel it, too?”
“I felt it before the shots, but it’s pretty powerful now. I promise I won’t touch you, though.”
“I want your touch, but I’m afraid. I’m afraid that all I’ll see is him.”