The room was deathly silent for a moment. “I had to,” she whispered, with a pleading look in her eyes. “What else could I do?”
“I knew it! I knew it!” I hissed, shaking my head, staring at her as hard as she was staring at me.
“Shhhhh! You want your mama to hear?” Rhoda slid over so close to me our knees touched. She seemed surprised and hurt when I moved away from her.
“I don’t believe it. I don’t believe you did this again!”
“Then don’t believe it,” she snapped. She stood up and stretched long and hard, rolling her eyes making sure I knew that I had annoyed her. “I didn’t come here to be accused—”
“Accused? You just admitted it.” I jumped up, my face close to hers.
She glanced at her watch, then told me, “It’s late and I’m tired. This is not the time to be discussin’…this subject. We’ll finish this conversation in the mornin’ after you’ve had time to sleep on it.”
“No. We are going to finish this conversation right here and now.”
“What more is there to say? I did it, I said I did it, you know I did it. Now that’s that. Nobody but you and I have to know just like…with Buttwright. We’ve put him behind us, let’s do the same with April.” She squeezed my shoulder for a moment, then started buttoning her sweater. “After all…I was provoked.”
“Let’s go talk in my room,” I said, grabbing her arm. She looked down at my thick hand holding on to her thin arm with an expression on her face that normally would have frightened me. But I was no longer afraid of her. Even though it was fairly late, I could hear people outside on the street laughing and talking and noisy cars whizzing by. My mood was black and anxious. I knew ahead of time that by the end of this conversation, my life would be altered again.
“All right. Let’s get this over with so I can go home and get some sleep.” Rhoda followed me to my room in silence.
Once we entered my room, she made herself comfortable on my bed. I stood by the front window rehearsing what I wanted to say to her in my mind.
“All right,” she announced. “Let’s get this over with.” She crossed her legs and started moving her foot, making circles in the air.
“Why did you kill that girl, Rhoda?”
“What do you mean? You of all people know why I had to do it.”
“Just like Mr. Boatwright, huh?”
“You could say that,” she agreed.
“You know if you ever get caught, you’ll probably spend the rest of your life in prison. Was it worth all that? I know you’re lucky and you’re intelligent. But sooner or later your luck and intelligence are not going to be enough, Rhoda.”
“I’ll worry about that when it happens,” she said in a shaky voice. She then uncrossed her legs and started tapping her toe on the floor impatiently.
“You’ve killed two people, and you’re not worried?” I asked incredulously.
“Four,” she said quickly, quietly, looking toward the door.
A gasp caught in my throat, and my head dropped forward and low.
“What did you say?” I heard myself ask.
“You heard me. I said ‘four.’” Her voice sounded like an echo.
“Who else?” I asked, looking deep into her eyes, searching for something. I just didn’t know what.
“Remember the last time my daddy put the Ford in the body shop to have another dent removed?”
“You told me you knocked over a mailbox,” I said guardedly. I had to turn away. I could not face her and absorb her confession at the same time. I spoke with my eyes looking at the floor. “Go on.”
“Remember that cop that killed my brother?
“The one they said…died in a hit-and-run…accident.” Now I was looking at the side of her face. Like me, her whole body was shaking. “Who was the other one?” I asked, almost choking on my words.
“Remember when Granny Goose fell down the steps and broke her neck? I…I…” Rhoda’s eyes were on the floor.
“Your own grandmother?” I spoke, looking toward the wall.
“You don’t know what a burden she was and how much she was sufferin’. I loved her, but she didn’t know me from Moses anymore. I did it for her.”
“No!” I whirled around to face her. There was the strangest expression on her face. Her eyes were stretched open wide, and her lips were pressed together in a