Go Away, Darling - Alexis Anne Page 0,74
was so soft. I would play with it while she lay naked on my chest. Over and over until my hand was tired. I itched to reach out and relive the way those quiet moments stopped time.
But I wasn’t allowed to do that anymore. Not unless I fixed this mess.
“I’m here to rescue you.”
She threw her hands up between us. “Oh no you don’t. I’ll wait for someone else.”
“You could be here all night. It’s Christmas Eve Eve. Everyone is in the town square. No one’s coming down this path any time soon.”
“Then I’ll just leave.”
“No you won’t.” She actually might. As much as Berlin loved the quirky rituals of the island, she was also very practical. She would absolutely leave if I didn’t convince her I was a viable alternative. “You don’t want to bring bad luck to the town.”
Her eyes narrowed. “That’s a story and you know it.”
“You’ve kissed me hundreds of times,” I said, walking a little closer, needing to see if being near her still did that thing to my stomach. “What’s one more kiss?”
“Jackson Michael Cassidy, if you take one more step closer I will strangle you with my bare hands.”
Yep. There it was. The fire I fell in love with. And now that I was close enough my stomach was indeed doing that Olympic backflip thing I used to love so much.
I swallowed. “I just came down for Christmas with Mom. I heard Doug’s bark and came to make sure you were okay.” That was a little bit of a lie. I heard a yip, not a bark, and I heard it because I was following her.
“I’m fine. Just stuck.” She stomped her foot.
Fire and ice. That’s what people used to call us. Berlin was all fire and passion while I was the cool hockey player. She proposed all the crazy ideas and I made them all happen.
Until I forgot that life was more than hockey.
“And I can help you,” I offered. “Unless you hate me so much you can’t stand to be near me.”
“I can’t stand to be near you,” she spit out.
But I noticed she didn’t say anything about hating me. Maybe I had a shot. Maybe I didn’t. Only one way to find out. “I’m sorry, Berlin.”
She went white.
I stepped closer. “I’m sorry I changed. I’m sorry I wasn’t a good husband. I’m sorry I made you divorce me.” I took another step closer so that we were within touching distance now. “I understand that I gave you no choice.”
“Hockey ruined everything,” she whispered.
Pain shot through my chest. Hockey had given me the life I always dreamed of, but I wasn’t particularly happy living that life without Berlin. It was an empty dream come true. “No. I ruined everything. I let hockey consume me. I let the idea of success turn me into a grade A asshole.”
The corner of her lip turned up at that. “I started calling you Jack-ass right before I asked you for a divorce.”
She probably still called me that. “I’m sorry I ruined us.”
She rolled her shoulders but didn’t say anything. I swear if, after hearing my apology, she still asked me to leave, I would.
At least I thought I would.
Now that I was standing so close that I could see how fast her chest rose and fell, how her cheeks flushed, could watch her chew on her lip, I was done for. It was just like when we were teenagers. My mind was a blank canvas that only Berlin could paint with her hands and lips.
I felt alive again.
Her lip sprang free of her teeth and she looked up at me. Big green eyes all wide and hopeful. “You’re sorry?”
I nodded. “I am. I couldn’t see what a monster I became back then. I was too consumed by it. Thanks to your ass kicking I’ve gotten to see things from a new perspective.”
“And what perspective is that?” Her words came out all breathy.
It did things to me. Things no other woman had ever done to me. “That hockey is only one part of my life. I miss getting into trouble with you. I miss this island. I miss . . . ” I searched for the exact right thing to say that would explain everything clearly. I wanted her to know I was serious.
And then it hit me.
“I miss opening up the sleeping porch on a breezy night and lying awake with you on my chest, talking all night while we look at the stars, getting