Go Away, Darling - Alexis Anne Page 0,46
red.
I steeled myself. “Okay.”
“Drink some wine first.”
Definitely not good. I handed her a glass and we each sipped. “Don’t leave me hanging, Liv.”
Her eyes darted down and away, avoiding me. “I got offered a job. An amazing job!” She took another sip of wine. “It will mean a lot of travel for the next few months.”
I heard all the words she said, but they ended up scrambled in my brain, mostly because they weren’t what I was expecting. At all. “A job? What kind of job?”
She pulled her lower lip between her teeth, breathless when she finally spoke. “A dream job. My work these last few weeks caught her eye and she—Carmen Ayres who is my very favorite documentarian—offered me a job as photographer for her next project. It’s about baseball and she said they couldn’t find anyone who captured the sport the way I do.”
I didn’t need to fully understand everything she said to get that it was a big deal to Liv. Maybe even the opportunity of a lifetime. “This is great news.”
“It is. At least I think so. It will complicate everything though.”
I wanted to touch her. To soothe her. But the way she held herself away from me still set alarm bells ringing in the back of my mind. “Why don’t you tell me everything over dinner.”
“Yes,” she began nodding over and over, “yes, that’s a good idea.”
And that’s how we spent the next hour. We ate slowly and drank a lot of wine, which also loosened up our shared anxiety about seeing each other. She explained who Carmen Ayres was and why she was a hero of Liv’s, all the project details, and finally her worries.
“I’m always going to be nervous about how change affects Linc.”
“He’s a happy kid. I don’t think this is going to affect his life.”
She smirked. “Are you saying I’m irrelevant.”
“You know I’m not.” I shot her a look that told her I thought she was very relevant.
“Intellectually I know six months is nothing, plus seeing his mother pursue her dreams with as much excitement as his father does will be very healthy for him, but…” she went back to worrying her lip.
“But?”
She shrugged. “Maybe I’m a control freak. I’m having trouble with the idea that someone else will pick him up from school. Someone else will tuck him in at night.”
“His life will be richer, not poorer, for having more people in it.”
She blinked at me. “You’re right.”
“What else worries you?”
She glanced away from me, taking a slow, deep breath and blowing it back out. “You’re trying to show me that you’re here, meanwhile I’m going to be the one traveling.”
Ah. Now we were really getting somewhere. “You know what?” I rapped my knuckles on the table. “This will be even better. Life changes all the time. I know that better than most. We picked up and moved constantly, or lived in an RV on the road, waking up in a new city everyday. I’m going to play ball until my arm can’t throw anymore. I don’t know what I’ll do after that. Maybe I’ll just fish all day for the rest of my life. The point is...I don’t know. My career could end tomorrow or maybe I’ll learn I’m hilarious on camera and become a sports commentator. This could be the first in a long line of new and interesting projects for you. If you really want to know if we have what it takes to stay together and make each other feel loved and appreciated, then this is it.” We were not breaking up over good news. It wasn’t happening.
She finished her wine and stared into the glass. “You’re absolutely right.”
“Then why do you look so sad?”
“Because,” she swallowed, “I’m scared.”
We’d been moving closer and closer as dinner wore on and conversation took over, so I finished the job and pulled her chair to mine. “Why?”
“I’ve never done anything this big before. I’ve...I’ve never taken a real chance on my career.”
Sometimes—rarely—it felt like we switched places. She was the younger and less experienced of the two of us instead of the other way around. I cupped her face. “Babe, you’re going to do great things. I’ve seen your work and it needs space. Room to grow. You’re ready.” A tear slipped out and ran down her cheek. I swiped it away with my thumb. She was so worked up I could feel the anxiety coming off her in waves.
It reminded me of the first time I got called