The Girl Who Chased the Moon: A Novel - By Sarah Addison Allen Page 0,42

to call Sawyer. His maid always said he wasn’t home. Julia refused to call her father, or talk to him when he called, for doing this to her. Her therapist didn’t pressure her. Her therapy sessions were odd at first, but then she started looking forward to them.

In fact, her therapist was the second person she told when realized she was pregnant.

Julia was thrilled when she found out. In her mind, it meant she could go home and be with Sawyer. They would get married and move in together and raise their child. He could make her happy. He could make her better. She knew he could. He saw her. He was the only person who did.

She called his house incessantly until she obviously wore the maid down. When Sawyer got on the phone, she was taken aback by his tone.

“Julia, you have to stop calling here,” he said brusquely.

“I … I’ve missed you. Where have you been?”

Silence.

“This place is horrible,” she went on. “They want to put me on medication.”

Sawyer cleared his throat. “Maybe that’s a good idea, Julia.”

“No, it’s not.” She smiled, thinking how wonderful this was going to be. “It might hurt the baby.”

Silence again. Then, “What baby?”

“I’m pregnant, Sawyer. I’m going to tell my therapist, and then my dad. I should be home soon.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” he said quickly. “What?”

“I know it’s a surprise. It was for me, too. But, don’t you see? It’s really the best thing that could have happened. I’ll come home and we can be together.”

“Is it mine?” he asked.

She felt the first string tighten around her heart, thin and sharp. “Of course it’s yours. That was my first time. You were my first.”

He waited so long to say something that she thought he’d hung up. “Julia, I don’t want a baby,” he finally said.

“Well, it’s too late for that,” she said, trying to laugh.

“Is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m sixteen!” He suddenly exploded. “I can’t be a parent! And I’m with Holly. This is the worst thing that could happen to me right now! I have plans.”

A second string, then a third, tightened around her insides, making it hard to breathe. “You’re with Holly?” She knew he’d been dating Holly, but she’d assumed, after what had happened on the football field … the way he’d looked at her and touched her …

How could he do that to her and still be with Holly?

“I’ve always been with her. You know that. We’re going to get married after college.”

“But that night—”

He interrupted her, saying, “You were upset.”

“It’s not just the baby, then?” she almost whispered. “You don’t want me?”

“I’m sorry. I really am. I thought you knew.”

You thought I knew? Her eyes started filling with tears and her breathing was heavy. She thought she might hyperventilate.

He was supposed to save her.

“I’ll take care of it,” she said, turning to hang up the pay phone. Sawyer might not want the baby, but she did. She would take care of it by herself.

Sawyer misunderstood. “That’s good. It’s the right thing, Julia. I know it’ll be hard, but it will be over before you know it. Just get an abortion and everything will be fine. Let me send you some money.” His voice was so nice now, so relieved. She felt a wave of hatred so strong that it popped off her skin and caused a crinkling noise in the phone receiver.

An abortion? He wanted her to get an abortion? He didn’t want the baby, but he didn’t want her to have it either. How could she ever have thought she was in love with such a person? “No. I can do it by myself.”

“Let me do something.”

“You’ve done enough,” she said, and hung up.

Telling her father was horrible. When her therapist made her call him, he wanted her to come home right away, thinking she’d gotten pregnant at Collier. But she admitted that it had happened before she left Mullaby. Though he demanded to know who the father was, she never told him. In the end, everyone agreed that she should stay at Collier. She wasn’t the only pregnant girl there, after all.

She started craving cakes around her third month. The sensation was unbelievable. There were times she thought she would go crazy with it. Her therapist told her it was just a normal pregnancy craving, but Julia knew better. This child growing inside her obviously had Sawyer’s magical sweet sense. When Julia couldn’t get enough sweets during the day, she started sneaking out of her