The Girl is Not For Christmas - Emma V Leech Page 0,87

of dignity that King had been clinging to, but he nodded his understanding. “I see. Well, that’s… that’s a pity.”

“Yes,” King replied, somehow forcing the words out. “A pity.”

They stood in silence a little longer before King got himself under control again.

“Go and fetch Susan will you and help her with George and that blasted piglet. Send her up to Livvy as soon as you can. Your aunt needs some help and looking after.”

With his troops all set upon their various tasks, King did what he did best when it all got too much, and ran away.

Chapter Eighteen

16th December 1818.

The earl’s prickly surprise.

The next time, Livvy decided, she would be better organised and if King thought he was getting away from her, he would have a fight on his hands. It would be another matter if he didn’t want her, but that clearly wasn’t the issue. It was some nonsense about her virginity and his dreadful past and… oh, good heavens, what did it matter now? She was hardly just out of the schoolroom and being a virgin did not make her innocent. Honestly, she’d helped Ceci give birth, heard a deal of village gossip she probably ought not to have, and had seen the ram servicing the ewes… was she supposed to be deaf, dumb, and blind? Apparently so, but she refused to play the game. Well, with those she cared for, at least. Besides, people had affairs all the time if the scandal sheets were anything to go by, not that they saw many of them at Boscawen as Charlie wouldn’t have them in the house. For a man with a burgeoning family, he was remarkably prudish about such things. Her grandfather’s influence, she supposed. He had been a wonderful man, but he’d always leaned towards the fire and brimstone outlook on life and religion. Though he’d had a very strict moral code that Livvy had admired—up to a point—it hadn’t exactly rubbed off on her. She was far more… realistic. Practical. After all, human beings were what they were and were bound to mess up more often than not, and wasn’t the whole point about loving thy neighbour and not casting the first stone to do with forgiving and accepting people for what they were? Not that she was a sterling example of that either, as she’d judged King at first glance and found him wanting, but she had admitted her mistake.

Oh, Lord, what a day. She didn’t know what had gotten into her, making such a scene over a stupid silver tray. Except it was an item she had used to calculate how much money they might have if they were forced to sell everything of value and… her chest felt tight again and she forced her mind away from the subject. Not now, Livvy, she told herself. She had promised herself the days until Christmas would be for her, and for the children. They would be merry and bright if it bloody killed her, and King was going to help. He was so wonderful with her nieces and nephews that would be no trouble at all. It was getting him to be wonderful to her which would be trickier, but she would get there. Oh, yes, she would.

“Thank you for your help, Susan,” Livvy said, giving the girl a kiss on the cheek. She had come to help Livvy dress, giving King the chance to bolt again, of course. “And I’m sorry I made such a silly scene before.”

Susan rolled her eyes. “Don’t be daft. Gelly says it’s a wonder we haven’t all sent you screaming to Bedlam for a bit of peace.”

Livvy gave a startled little laugh and pulled Susan into a hug. “Sometimes I forget what a grown-up young lady you are becoming.”

Susan sighed and leaned her head against Livvy. “Not that it will do me any good to grow up. I shan’t have a season, shall I, Livvy? Nor the others.”

Livvy closed her eyes and held Susan tightly. “I… I don’t think so, Susan. Not unless I marry a kind, rich man.”

Susan looked up then, her eyes wide. “You won’t marry Mr Skewes, will you? Promise, Livvy.”

Obviously Livvy hadn’t the slightest intention of marrying the man, but Susan’s request was so surprising she could only stare.

The girl held her gaze, and gone was any trace of the giggling schoolgirl, replaced by a maturity Livvy had not seen before. “I could never sleep peacefully again, knowing you’d married him to save us. We