more worried about her, and her staying this week has brought home to me how thinly stretched she is. She doesn’t stop. She’s almost manic in her approach. It reminds me of Simon in those days as a trader, desperate to get on, to work at the expense of everything else. I remember that day when he told us he would be emigrating to run the branch in Singapore and I could almost hear your heart breaking.
He’d gone, and of course we wanted desperately for him to be happy, and work really did seem to drive him, but knowing this meant our future was expensive long-distance phone calls on an unreliable line and bi-annual visits was devastating. In recent years there was Skype, of course, but it was still half a world away. It seemed a comfort at least to know that his decision did seem right, that he was truly happy in that world.
Lottie, though, she seems less certain, more torn in two. I remember the early days of her and Luke, her telling us about the lazy walks they’d go on, their constant visits to yurts in Wales, cabins in Dorset, spa hotels in Cornwall – they were always roaming and relaxed together. Now, though, work seems to have swallowed her up. I want Lottie to have the same fun we had, the same evenings with Luke, with their friends.
Lottie’s mobile rings and she glances at it before stuffing it guiltily back in her pocket. ‘It’s Amy,’ she mutters with a blush.
‘So,’ I said, my thoughts making up my mind. ‘We need to plan your first evening together with Luke, something suitable for a young courting couple.’ I tried to inject a lightness to my voice.
Lottie looked up, placing the photo back in the album. ‘Oh, oh no, Luke and I are fine, happy with how things are, no need to do anything drastic, it was a crazy idea.’
Realising she wasn’t going to go along with the scheme made me pause. I looked back at your face in the photograph, still hoping for another moment, another hour, another day in your company. She shut the album cover. ‘You must!’ I found myself saying. ‘It wouldn’t be fair to me. Howard has already chosen my profile picture for Tinder.’
I hadn’t dreamed of actually going along with the ridiculous idea but now Lottie didn’t seem keen either I felt a desperate desire to see it through. She needed to do this. She and Luke needed this time to remember what was important.
‘But surely you don’t really want to date or anything yet?’
‘Oh I do!’
Her forehead creased in a frown. ‘It’s OK to say you’re not OK, Grandad.’
I tried to sound enthusiastic. ‘I just thought it might be a good way to take my mind off things!’ (Sorry, Cora, I’m so sorry.) ‘Not so much the women but more the chance to get out there, do different things, meet new people.’ I felt like I was rambling now and came to a halt.
Lottie looked as surprised as I felt. ‘But—’
‘But fair is fair,’ I interjected, removing the spotlight from myself, ‘and I only want to do it if you and Luke agree to try things the old-fashioned way. That will give us all something to plan and help out with too.’
Lottie scuffed her stockinged foot on the floor, making marks in the dust. ‘I’m not sure, Grandad. There’s so much going on, I don’t really have the time to—’
‘Nonsense. It won’t take up lots of time.’ I was sounding positively forceful but I realised this was my way to help. I might not have your skills in conversation, Cora, but I could do something practical.
‘Well, I suppose, if you really want me to.’
‘I do. I think it will be a fun thing for the both of us.’
‘Luke didn’t seem completely against the idea,’ she admitted. ‘All right,’ she said, standing up, ‘if you’re sure . . . ’
‘I’m sure!’ I almost banged my head on the beam as I stood.
‘OK then!’
‘Excellent!’ I exhaled in a short, relieved burst. ‘Excellent.’
With that agreed I ushered her back down the ladder, knowing I needed to get something before I followed her. I reached round behind me and rummaged through the kitchen box, extracting the glass juicer and holding it carefully against my chest as I made my way back downstairs.
Teddy
Chapter 9
Love is a commitment you need to work at like any other
SIDNEY, 84
It didn’t take long for Grandad and his friends to put plans