in the sunshine, eating canapés and laughing as waiters topped up their glasses with champagne. Amy looked excited and radiant, greeting people with double kisses and generous hugs, leaning into her new husband Will looking every inch the happy bride. I felt tears well in my eye as I looked across at her.
‘Lottie!’ One of the ushers called out to me, I’d forgotten his name, he had a luxuriant ginger beard. ‘I need your bay tree,’ he said, and I walked across to deposit it in the marquee.
‘Lottie, I . . . ’ Luke had appeared behind me just as Luxuriant Ginger Beard was instructing me to talk to the band about their meal requirements and to triple-check they were on track for their first set. I could have tugged on those ginger hairs and yelled, ‘Nooooo, let me talk to this ravishing man in the tailored suit with the sexy smile’ but instead I nodded, desperate to ensure I was the best bridesmaid I could be: I needed to do that at the very least for my Amy.
‘Sorry, Luke, I promise we’ll catch up in a bit,’ I said, stepping away.
Luke nodded, waving me away with a hand. ‘Of course, go and sort them out. You look’ – I froze as he spoke – ‘amazing.’
‘Thanks,’ I mumbled, aware Luxuriant Ginger Beard was watching our exchange. I felt a blush move from my chest to my face.
After the band were sorted, Amy asked me to join her in the ladies’ loos. ‘A catch-up,’ I giggled, enjoying the feel of her tucking her arm in mine as we sloped off.
‘No, I am desperate for a pee and this dress is so complicated you are going to have to sort me out.’
‘Ah,’ I said, giggling as we stumbled up the Portaloo steps, a strong smell of lavender and bleach assaulting our nostrils.
We didn’t really fit in the cubicle and various female guests joined in at one point, deciding on pulling at various ribbons and buttons. Finally Amy was released and redressed and I was dabbing at my face trying to tone down the flush, combing at my fringe. My hair was up in a loose chignon and my eyes were made up in soft pastel shades.
Amy gave me a quick hug, meeting my eyes in the mirror. ‘You look stunning, Lottie, and thank you, you’re being completely brilliant.’
I gave her a grin, reaching up to squeeze her wrist. ‘I’m so happy for you, Amy. You’re going to have the best night.’
‘Have you seen the drummer?’ one of Amy’s guests called from the closed cubicle.
Amy frowned. ‘Not yet.’
The guest emerged, an athletic woman in a hot pink fascinator who I recognised from the hen do as being head of PE. ‘Well, let’s just say Will should be relieved you already made vows to him. Fiiiiit.’
As we exited the loo, Amy veered away, determined to go and see ‘her drummer’. I watched her great-aunt moving in an unsteady line beside the lake. ‘Might go and rescue your relative,’ I said, darting off to steer the woman back to the safety of the crowds and the canapés.
‘You’re a lovely girl,’ the aunt said, patting me on the arm. ‘Have you seen the band? There’s a man holding two sticks who is devilishly attractive.’
Finally a dinner bell was rung by an enthusiastic pageboy and guests started moving into the marquee, the guitarist in the band strumming a gentle melody as everyone took their seats. Moving around the edge I felt a hand on my arm and, turning, sucked in my breath to see Luke standing in front of me. He drew me to one side and I let myself follow him, hoping there wasn’t another job I needed to do or another relative in need of rescue.
‘Finally,’ he laughed. He seemed a little on edge, one hand straightening the collar of his shirt.
‘God, I’m sorry, being a bridesmaid is effort,’ I said, feeling myself desperate to lean into him, to feel close to him. I hadn’t touched him, not properly, for weeks.
‘Thank you for your letter.’ He launched into it immediately. ‘And the cufflinks, they’re great, I was thinking—’
I bit my lip, not wanting to risk spoiling anything.
‘—well, I was hoping we could talk about me moving back in.’
‘Oh my God, yes, yes, yes please, I have hated you not being there,’ I burst out. ‘I’ve missed you so much. And I’m so bloody sorry for being such a cow. I’m going to work on that,