Gimme Everything You Got - Iva-Marie Palmer Page 0,90

they’re not. They enrich us on so many levels. But they should enrich all of us. Women, too,” he said. “As women, it seems like you get told you should do things for other people, not for yourselves. But screw what’s expected of you. Or not expected of you.”

“I never thought of it that way,” I said. “But I think I do now.” Up until Bobby and soccer, I’d only let myself want impossible things within the confines of my own head, maybe because I assumed what was possible in reality would only disappoint me.

I must have been silent for a while, because Bobby said, “I hope that doesn’t sound like I’m coaching to give you permission to play soccer. The truth is—and this is corny—that it’s more like I get to be witness to you all giving yourselves permission.”

“Are you a feminist?” I blurted out. Who asked a guy that? And did I even know what a feminist was? I still hadn’t read more than the dirty parts of Fear of Flying.

“I don’t know. It hardly seems like my place to decide that,” he said. “I want to be a good coach and the rest is the rest.”

I’d managed to control the physical response I had to Bobby, but this was new, and almost worse. I felt protective of what he had revealed, and the precious insights were more intimate than if he’d undressed for me. I wanted him to feel appreciated. “You’re a great coach,” I said.

He seemed caught off guard. “Thank you,” he said. “I hope you feel like you can talk to me about anything.”

Someone knocked twice and the door swung open. I lifted my head from the floor to see my mom’s friend Jacqueline standing there, outfitted in royal blue tights and a leotard that matched her eye shadow.

“Jacqueline, hi,” Bobby said. “We were just wrapping up.”

Jacqueline pointed with the inside of her hand up, causing her many bracelets to jangle. Why would someone wear jangling bracelets to work out? “This is my friend’s daughter,” she said, raising an eyebrow. “She’s a client?”

Bobby wiped down the weight bench and looked at me. I tried to get to my feet as gracefully as possible. “Susan is on my soccer team. She’s a star. We bumped into each other and we’re trying to find the best way to train for a big game.”

“Well, your real customer has arrived,” Jacqueline said, extending an envelope that must have been filled with cash. “So we can get started.” There was something in her tone and the look she gave me that made it clear I should go.

Bobby scratched the back of his neck. “For sure,” he said. He looked at me. “Can you get home okay?”

“I can walk,” I said.

Or run, I thought. I had to get ready for the concert.

Twenty-Four

“So here’s the thing,” Joe said as we took the ramp from Cicero to the Stevenson. “O’Banion’s is a complete shithole.”

Tina had called me just before Joe picked me up, asking if I was ready for my date, so I had to remind her I was not going on a date, even as I started to worry it was one.

Now, though, I was sure: the guy telling you that you were being taken to a shithole was proof you were not on a date.

“That’s great—how did you know I love shitholes?”

Joe laughed. “Well, it’s a great shithole and it’s a lot of fun. But it’s not our first stop. I figure we’re going to the city, and we both more or less look presentable, so maybe we should go get food someplace decent first?”

“Sounds good,” I said. “You do look presentable. Nice, even.” He was wearing a Sex Pistols T-shirt and jeans with Converse high-tops, and his hair was extra spiky. He smelled like paint and soap.

“I enjoy showers too much to be a total dirtbag,” he said, merging into the left lane. “You like pizza, right? Even if it’s not just to hold in your lap?”

“Every year on my birthday, I ask for a pizza that’s just for me instead of a cake,” I told him.

“So that’s a yes.”

We wound up at Gino’s East on Superior. I’d never been before, but you could write on the walls, which were covered in previous diners’ graffiti. Joe scribbled “The Watergate Tapes” on a beam next to our table and then handed me the marker.

“I don’t know what to write,” I said.

“Do you think all these couples are still together?” Joe was