Ghost (Boston Underworld #3) - A. Zavarelli Page 0,78

on me. And I know he’s going to give in. He just likes to torment me. Make me beg for this. For him.

“Come here,” he tells me finally. “And sit on my cock.”

I do it. Without an ounce of remorse or shame. He watches and then instructs me to ride him. Which I also do. His hands remain at his sides, his eyes closed, and it frustrates me.

“You aren’t touching me,” I speak into his right ear. “Or looking at me.”

“Did you want me to?” he asks. “Or do you want the master fucking his slave?”

And I know now that he’s trying to prove a point. About my remark earlier.

He tangles my hair in his fist and draws me closer, his mouth so close to mine I can almost taste him.

“I will look at my wife whenever I please,” he tells me. “And don’t ever tell me otherwise, Solnyshko. You will be intimate with me. And you will never hide from me.”

His words are harsh, but his kiss is soft. And he gives me what I need. His hands on my body. His warmth and his sounds and his pleasure. He comes inside of me on a sigh, and remains there for a long time, holding me in his arms.

Neither one of us moves, and I know something is changing between us. Evolving. Growing. But I’m afraid to ask what it is. And Alexei doesn’t mention it either.

He simply holds me.

And for right now, it is enough.

42

Talia

Two months have come and passed. Our guests have gone, and I am grateful. Apart from the noise I would hear upstairs, I didn’t see much of them. But whatever was happening ended up occupying a lot of Alexei’s time. I’m happy to have the house back to just the four of us.

Alexei and I, Franco and Magda. And soon another little Nikolaev.

It’s surreal.

I had a scan this morning, and I am farther along than either of us suspected. Alexei sat through the whole process, quiet and steadfast at my side. We are having a boy. And when he found out, he smiled.

It was a beautiful thing.

The intensity between us is changing every day. The barriers dissolving more and more. And the question always lingering in the back of my mind. That maybe this time is different. That maybe this time, I can trust.

Alexei’s days are still his own. Spent working in his office. But at night, we dine together. And go to bed together. And he holds me. Sometimes it’s about sex. But sometimes, it’s just about us.

The sadness has slowly ebbed away over time. It does not disappear completely. It never does. There are still bad days. Days when the memories haunt me. When the pain feels unforgiving and relentless. But I am learning how to process it.

Changing old patterns and thoughts does not come easily. I still struggle with my deep-rooted fears every day. I worry that this is just a dream. And that soon, I will wake up at Arman’s again.

Alexei has not brought him up. Nor have I.

For now, I am giving him something that I swore I would never give again. My trust.

I am trusting him not to destroy me. I am trusting that if I work hard on my own demons, so will he. Because we have no choice. We have to be better than we were. For our child. And for ourselves.

I spend my days fighting. Fighting to overcome my fears and learning the things that I never had a chance to. Magda teaches me something every day. She teaches me how to cook, to sew, and even how to sing Russian lullabies.

I’m slowly learning the language. So that I can communicate with Alexei in that way. As well as our baby, who will speak both languages.

I spend time with Tanaka, at least once a week. She seems sad at times, locked inside of her own head. She does not speak about her and Nikolai. I only know that when she is here with me, she is happy. We have become close friends.

And more and more, I think about Mack.

I think about seeing her. And hoping that there is still some chance to recover our friendship too.

Soon, I think.

I will contact her soon.

My life has completely changed in so little time. I went from having nothing, to having everything. And it scares me almost all of the time. I think of my baby and wonder what Alexei will be like with his son. I know he